This Organic Worship

Faith from Jesus

2011-12-09T14:15:00.009-05:00

I have a pretty weak faith.

I think most people who are honest with themselves would be able to say the same. Actually, what makes it even worse for me is that I'm totally prideful, which means I get anxious. Man do I get anxious! I'm so good at it sometimes it's like I do it for a living! So how do I connect pride to anxiety? Well, I've noticed both are always present when I look back over my short life. I can't think of a single time I haven't seen one without the other. There has to be some connection. And there is. What I've learned about anxiety is that it's simply me, planning to do the work God has set before me to do, and worrying that I'll fail because I am potentially not good enough to pull off whatever it is. In this particular scenario I've completely removed God from the equation, I've already resigned myself to failure because I've pridefully rejected His work through me. You would think that lack of confidence in ourselves would humble prideful people, but the lie is twisted even more when we start to think like the world and think that the amount of talent we have or work we put into something is directly proportional to our success.

In the scheme of things, so many of us have so little to offer. And that's a truth that can really lead to humility or pride: the difference is one ingredient. That ingredient is faith. Without it pride, anxiety and a whole bunch of failure awaits, with it, well, failure doesn't even matter then.

Faith will change your economy.

Once we grasp that, the danger is to fall back in the prideful trap and get anxious about whether we have enough faith. I've been there too. I wrestle every day to avoid that, and that's why I see humility and faith as byproducts of one another. The more dependent I become on God by pursuing humility, the less I am in the way of His work, and more can be accomplished through me as faith takes the place of pride. This thought is throughout the bible. One example is in John the Baptist's declaration that 'he must decrease so that Jesus can increase.' This eventually meant loosing his own disciples (John 1:35-36). John believed that Jesus was the Savior, he heralded his very coming. He risked all to proclaim fulfillment of an ancient prophecy, and most people thought him to be crazy. I think It could be said of John the Baptist that his faith was great, and he and his ministry were being transformed by that faith. So much so that after his death he was mistaken for Jesus by King Herod, who thought Jesus was his incarnation (John 14:1). As a minister I couldn't think of a much higher honor than to be mistaken for Christ by an unbeliever because of the similarities between our ministries. I'm also confident that John, were he still alive, would have cleared the confusion quickly (see John 1:19-20).

Unfortunately, I don't think many believers feel like John the Baptist, born with great faith in the work of God (after all, John was excited about Jesus' ministry, even in the womb). If you're like me, you wrestle every day. I've already alluded to my struggles with pride and anxiety, which I know I am surely not alone in. On my own power I struggle enough to barely reduce pride to make room for humility and see tremendous faith bloom in my heart. Luckily for us, there is a way!

Jesus runs across a man I identify much more with than John the Baptist in Mark chapter 9:

"And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?” And someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.” And he answered them, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose." (Mark 9:14-27)

How often have you been the father in this story? I know I have asked God many times for something by starting with "if you can...", maybe not saying it aloud, but certainly doubting in my heart. But our God is the God who can do more than we ask or even think! (Eph. 3:20) That's amazing! We can't even think up God's biggest move! So understanding that, why do I live with weak faith? I think it's simply because I am too proud to ask Jesus to borrow his faith like the father of the boy. To admit weak faith is to admit dependency on God and thats just too hard because it means I have to be humble.

I have a number of friends who are overseas missionaries. Some of them really feel like America as a nation, is lost. And without a doubt we are lukewarm in our faith at best - speaking generally of the American Church of course. So my friends feel like they need to head to the places that, unlike America, haven't even heard the Gospel yet. And praise God that He sends these people out. Without a doubt, our country has a lot of broken churches. This has to be due, in large part, to an abundance of proud people. We've seen that God really doesn't choose to work much where there is a lot of pride. He passed over King Saul for King David because of this- and the only true legacy that lives on from those two is David's. So what would happen if as a whole, the American church in this generation set aside pride to make room for faith from Jesus? If we set out to leave a lasting legacy like King David? What would happen if all of God's disciples everywhere echoed the prayer of the father of the boy? "I believe! Help me in my unbelief!"

Revival is one of those over-used 'Christianeese' words, but it's the most fitting thing I can really think of.And that's just what I can think of. Eph. 3:20 tells us He can do abundantly more.

So dream big, because God will do bigger.

Jesus Wants to Redeem Christian-eese

2011-08-07T19:29:00.001-04:00

Having been in the church for a while I've noticed we recycle a lot of the same phrases in our little cultural syntax. I know I've spent time making fun of a number of these phrases, and also have endorsed some of the phrases myself. It just seems to be a part of the culture we create as a people. I used to say "let's make Jesus famous" a lot. That was until someone pointed out to me that Jesus really was already famous. Very good point. Since then the jury is still out on that one. I know Jesus is already renown in heaven, and in most places here on earth you can at least get a 'Jesus is my homeboy' T-shirt. But there are still places in this world that haven't even heard his name. He's not famous everywhere, but at some point we know everyone will know his name and worship him.

The words and phrases we use tell a lot about us. I think the words coming from our culture in our church SHOULD demonstrate our hearts. Even if they come off a bit cheesy. I'll be completely honest, I have in the past had a very elitist attitude towards certain things about church culture. I have put down a lot of people for not being 'cool' enough in their approach to faith. God has corrected me since. As a matter of fact, if you want to think of your B-I-B-L-E as your 'basic information before leaving earth', I think thats great. That one was the worst I could think of. We slap a lot of stuff as Christians on bumper stickers that I cringe at. I won't lie. But like I said, the things we say, do carry weight.

I've had enough of this very popular trend among some Christians, mostly who are present on twitter and the blogosphere that love to make tongue and cheek remarks about the the faith of others, who are maybe a bit more 'old-fashioned'. These remarks are especially aimed at the people I will call the 'bumper-sticker' people, and come from the elitist wannabe mega-church/urban/hipster crowd. I can attest to this, because I often associate with this 'modern' church crowd. It irritates me a lot. It reminds me of the 7th grader that thinks they can postfix "just saying" on the end of everything they say and that somehow gives them a license to say whatever they want.

Seriously. Stop that. If anyone has enough time to over-simplify the innocence of someone's way of professing their faith through cultural statements developed in the church they have way too much time on their hands. Jesus was very sarcastic with people. But never faithful believers. Jesus made the practice of ripping a new one on the religious people a lot however - and some of the things I read these days are starting to sound pretty religious. Why attack positive church culture even if it isn't cool enough for you?

So what am I talking about?

Let's zero in. I have heard the phrase "sold out for God", made fun of a lot. Yes, it's over-used. Yes, it sounds ridiculous. Yes, Christians say it a lot.

But let's really think about this. Instead of poking fun at your inferior, small-baptist-church-youth-group-sophomore-student-standing-around-the-campfire-giving-his-testimony counterpart from your non-pew-seat-cool-lights-church-pre-service-iPad-tweetfest, maybe we could invest a moment to think what the church would look like if we really all got sold out for God.

In Matthew 13:44, Jesus tells a parable:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

This classic 'lets miss the forest and check out the trees' issue the is making the Church look really stupid these days. I think simply Jesus would love the Church to spend less time internally critiquing its cultural coolness (after all are we really still competing to be as cool as 'secular' culture?), and more time buying into his Kingdom with great Joy.

Mark Driscoll has said "salvation is free, but discipleship will cost you everything." Jesus doesn't give the example about hating even our families to pursue him in Luke 14 so that we will think that we only have to make capital expenses for the Kingdom, but we get to hang onto our meaningless trinkets. He uses such an extreme example, to show that we owe him everything to be his disciples. It's catch-all example. Surely if you can give up your family to Jesus, you can give up your cool Yes. Your cool. Jesus prayed that we would be one as he and the trinity are one (John 17:20-23). That was his heart. Why are we letting small costs get in the way of our unity. Why is our cool factor dividing his global Church?

I'm overreacting you say. In response to that I say every time you mock another christian for the way they speak about their faith you have driven another post in the ground for the fence Satan is building between different local churches.

For God's glory, let's get over ourselves and not continue to fragment the church in creating a sub-culture of Christianity that is presented as silly and juvenile. Who cares that there are people so excited about their faith they make their own catch phrases. I think it's wonderful. God's Kingdom is not coming while the Church remains fragmented. If we want to see revival in the American church, we need to start with looking at ourselves, the supposed pioneers of the modern church. Not everybody in the Church knows how to send a tweet. We have a lot of responsibility after all.

Moreover, instead of pointing our fingers at the 'wrong' way of doing church because it makes uncomfortable, lets invest that energy, like the man who bought the field with the treasure.

The Kingdom is too valuable.

Let's all get sold out for God. And let's talk about it. Let's even make it a part of our cultural language. Let's redeem that phrase. Let's make the overflow of our mouths tie back to our hearts.

For His Kingdom
Ben

The Death that Brought Life

2011-08-05T21:35:00.003-04:00

Exactly six months ago, yesterday, to the day, I stood in the office of the church I was employed by to tend my resignation at 7 in the morning. I've told this story a lot since, now it's time to write it down. Where better to start than a blog no one reads!

Anyone who reads this who actually knows me, should know I'm just retelling what God has done for me. I'm not going to name any names or produce slanderous gossip. The only person allowed to look bad in this story is me. The only person allowed to look good in this story is Jesus. Here comes my un-adulturated, un-slanted re-telling. It's taken me 6 months to even understand what happened. Don't expect an inspirational teaching from the Lord, this is mostly something I want to offer to old friends as I re-establish relationship with them and to help fill in blanks for new friends. I hope this will be the start of new entries in this blog, and new discussions with close friends

That being said, I'm just going to download as much information from my head as I can to prompt those new discussions.

Here's the facts:

I was blessed to be employed as the worship leader at Church Relevant
I have never led such a faithful and gifted group of people

I was blessed to be a member of Then Came Morning, a worship band
I have never felt greater potential to serve God in any other ministry I've participated with

I had an idol issue.
This specifically surrounded a romantic relationship I pursued

No one can serve two masters, and I actively chose to be mastered by my idol instead of God

Because of this choice:

I disqualified myself from ministry,
abandoning the church body I was serving

I disqualified myself from my band,
abandoning the members of the band

I successfully avoided true accountability from the body of Christ,
thus becoming a liar

I actively chose to stop praying and reading the bible
I began ministering and leading worship without any Spiritual walk

I ignored the voice of God on multiple occasions to continue my sinful pursuit

The above was a very gradual process. It began late in may of 2010. I wasn't aware that it was even happening until January of 2011. By January, the slow leak of this process had taken it's toll and I could feel that I was very close to a final blowout. I remember just knowing that. I never stopped and said to myself that I had lost contact with my God at any particular point. But I could look back over time and remember a season when I wanted what I knew God wanted, and I knew that wasn't the case anymore. By January I knew I was in open rebellion. Emotionally, I was beyond feeling ragged. I was destroyed. There were times near the end of the year I wouldn't sleep for days at a time. I became dependent on sleeping pills to function. This started at first the way that medicine was actually intended, to help with occasional sleeplessness. Then I found myself taking higher dosages. Soon I would take the pills to endure any kind of stress. I had many difficult conversations with others under the influence of sleeping pills. Even the normal stresses of my part-time retail job had become too hard to bear without the help of pills.

As things fell apart with the thing I treasured most, I felt my sanity slipping away. I've always known I have a proclivity towards mental illness. I was treated for many years by a professional counsellor for depression that I had thought had subsided. But the further I ran from God, the more those things returned. Soon was I not only terribly depressed, but I was very, very angry. I was no longer submitted to the Holy Spirit and His control.

Then one night, I remember driving home, very angry. By this time I had become unable to stay afloat with my bills, my relationship was sunk and I was weary of living a lie to those around me in keeping up an image that I had an intimate walk with the Lord. I felt that any possibility of recovery was gone. The next night I was supposed to participate in a multiple-church night of worship. Something that months of planning had gone into. There has never been anything closer to my heart than seeing churches unite. But not even that mattered to me at this point. I began driving home about 2am. I had decided in that moment I had crossed the point of no return. So I began to drive very fast. It was raining that night. I thought to myself if I make it home alive I can go to sleep and figure out how to kill myself another time. I had never seen a cop on this highway, especially at 2am, and I had driven it many times.

Here's where the beginning of the story is. I came around a corner, passed a state patrolman, and was pulled over for excessive speeding. The officer threatened to take me to jail (I still don't remember how I got out of that). Naturally he gave me a ticket and sent me home. Following that, I made a phone call and the relationship I idolized was over. Everything I loved more than anything. Shattered. It's the weirdest feeling when everything you feel you were purposed for falls apart in one night.

Then the most amazing thing happened. God spoke. I remember learning about the 400 years of silence between old and new testaments when I attended Hillsong College. It was like hearing the voice of the Lord for the first time after centuries. His voice, so familiar, so easily identifiable. I had spent a lot of time in the past months, screaming at Him, cursing at Him, to no response. I thought if I could get God riled up enough maybe He would have something to say. And whenever he spoke, it wasn't what I wanted to hear, so I didn't listen. And then unprompted, in this great moment of loss, while things were so quiet, He chose to speak. He didn't yell. He just spoke. Simple and clear. "You're done Ben. You're benched." I had such an overwhelming sense at that moment that I could have been struck dead if I attempted to lead worship the next night. That sounds silly but it's true. In that moment when God spoke, I recognized the gravity of what I'd been doing over the last few months. I knew I had done evil, and that God was very offended. So I made the dreaded calls at 3 am. Some of you reading may have gotten the call. I resigned two jobs the next morning and was on a plane that afternoon. Short of a very jumbled explanation at an IHOP, the people closest to me never got a real explanation. Mostly because I wouldn't understand what happened until months later.

The following months were indescribably heartbreaking. I wept before the Lord on a daily basis. It took hours of counseling from professional advisors, church officials and close friends, 20 mg/day of Celexa, and some very determined prayer warriors to help me return to a functional state.

I never once ever felt abandoned by the Lord. His presence never left me. There were often days that I couldn't get out of bed in the morning and nights I couldn't sleep. I remember the plane ride home from NC, begging the Lord to let the plane drop from the sky. There were moments so painful I wanted to lay on the floor and die. Once I sat on the floor of my kitchen with a steak knife, determined to slit my wrists. But for every heartbreaking step of the process God apportioned the measure of grace I needed to walk through. I have never felt the healing, loving care of Christ like I have over this season. Is. 57:15 promises God's presence to the broken. And I can testify it's true. I've never needed Jesus so much. I used to need hope for the next year or the next week, but in the last few months there have been times I've needed the Lord to make it to the next minute. In the moments when my hopelessness and hurt became so tangible it felt like I could touch it, God became even more tangible. Let me tell you, He does dwell with the broken.

I really find it enough that God has spared my life. I really feel like I should be dead, either from my own actions or from my disobedience to the Lord. I wouldn't have been the first. I want to apologize to anyone reading this who feels like I have burnt the bridge of my relationship with them. I had to get low, and hide out and get close to God. I hope to see God redeem old relationships for His glory in coming days out of this sharing. I plan to tag many of you through twitter and email others a copy.

However, to my surprise, it isn't enough that God has saved my life. Not to Him. The last thing I expected at the end of this season is to find myself returning to ministry. But that's exactly what has happened. Early last March, after returning to Illinois I had to fight the hardest battle yet. I lost my passion. Literally, all that internal fire and love and desire for the church. Gone. Any ability to write music or create a song. Gone. Any desire to lead people and shepheard hearts. Gone. I've never endured something so heartbreaking. What I realize now, is that my passion actually died. It had to. Actually in this entire process, my whole self died. I had to. When my passion left me it felt like the final death rattle of a former life. I felt worth nothing, empty and dark as a grave, and surely having nothing to validate that I had created. All that was left was God in me. God who had saved me from death.

Anyone who participated in the worship ministry at my church will remember one of our pre-worship rituals. We would come around the stage to pray. When we ended, we would profess Is. 26:8 together saying "yes Lord, walking in the way of Your Word, eagerly we wait for You. Your Name and renown are the desire of our hearts." It always felt to me like we were declaring the importance of God's glory over everything else. That our deepest desires surrounded His renown. No matter what happened, we would glorify the Name. True worship always comes with an element of sacrifice. Sacrifice of service, sacrifice of pride, and in some powerful cases sacrifices of life.

So at the threshold of the understanding that my passion and a part of my past was dead, and that I may never again minister to the glory of the Lord, I felt like I was worshipping again. The sacrifice was made - and for some reason, probably just by ritual I thought about Is. 26:8 in that moment. About God's name, that even when I have nothing of value, I will make his name my heart desire, even in death.

That's when it happened. It was the final beat of the heart of the life I once lived. I died. This was God's plan all along.

John 11:1-4

Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.” When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

Like Lazarus, I feel like what I've gone through hasn't ended in death. We all know the powerful end of the story, Jesus' demonstration of compassion and power where he calls Lazarus alive from the grave, unafraid of the stench, commanding that the clothes of death be removed from him.

I have every reason to give glory to God. He has every reason to never use me again. I am so excited for the future. I know, beyond a doubt that God has a call on my life, that everything He has done, has been done for a purpose. One of the biggest reasons I'm writing this, is because I believe that the things God started while I was with friends in NC are not finished. It was an amazing honor to partner with so many people passionate for the local church. Without taking too much of a dive off the deep end, I still believe, with now a new sober mind and heart, that revival is headed for the church. That the present generation will change the Church forever.

By God's amazing grace, I feel that he has called me to still participate in that revival, regardless of past mistakes. He is blessing me by opening amazing doors. This fall I'll be attending Moody Bible Institute in downtown Chicago as a biblical studies major. There are amazing things happening here in Chicagoland and I feel called to be a part. Even as I type this, a conference of 15 thousand people is holding worship in the United Center. I absolutely can't wait for what Jesus will do here. My heart is burdened for the Church in Chicagoland. Something absolutely revolutionary is happening here. I know that I'm called to be a part. I wish I could record here some of the conversations I've had lately. I can't wait to see what God will do.

If you're reading this and you've prayed for me thank you so much. If you're reading this and we've disconnected, we need to reconnect. Send me an email, or text. Or I'll send you one, you don't know this, but I miss you.

Thanks for reading my story.

For His Name and Renown,
Ben

The Power in Pursuit

2010-07-20T19:24:00.006-04:00

It's amazing how our culture can ruin the power of words. Take the word 'awesome' for example. We'll call anything awesome. I was having coffee with a friend one night, and as he and I were sitting outside some bro in a VW beetle started tearing up doughnuts in the parking lot. I remember realizing how I abuse the word when the first thing I said was "that's awesome." That's not awesome - that's stupid. A sunset is awesome, music is awesome, people are awesome.

I would suggest that the same thing has happened with the idea of pursuing something, specifically pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ. There's power in pursuing something, it implies that we're actively attempting to obtain something. When we're in pursuit, there's forward progression, we're not waiting, not resting, not being distracted except from the goal. Nothing can turn us from our pursuit, nothing can remove our zeal. There's a desperation in the idea of pursuit, a sort of straining towards something. There's the feeling of risk - the potential that we may never actually reach our goal. Pursuit is all consuming.

I worry that my pursuit of Christ is reflective of the way I abuse the word awesome, that something once reserved for the extraordinary and set apart has become commonplace. When I set out to pursue Christ, I don't want it to be the same type of pursuit I have for other things like money, comfort or contentment, I want to strain and risk and be all consumed for the cause of Jesus. Even more so, there's only room for one object of pursuit in my life. To say I pursue Christ and at the same time pursue other things with equivalent or greater zeal is to be caught up in the sin of idolatry.

7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Pressing on Toward the Goal 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Phil 3:7-14)

True pursuit of Christ means I must lay aside all preference, all desire, all hope for contentment in exchange for whatever He may ask me to do. I agree completely with Paul, that everything is loss compared to knowing Christ. I have decided to fully pursue Christ, not just a compartmentalized version of the things God has asked me to do where I have separated out the thing I desire to do from the things I'm uncomfortable with. I'm not at all comfortable with the idea to be honest. But I know after 20 years of pursuing contentment that the only way to arrive there is to pursue Christ - forgetting what is behind and straining for what is ahead.

Glory-Numb

2010-07-20T00:19:00.002-04:00

I have a real problem. I'm glory-numb.

I have a second problem. I'm coining strange jargon.

But if you know me - you know made up terms come with the territory... Lately, I've been thinking about how different my relationship with God is from when I first became a believer. About two weeks ago a good friend of mine began his relationship with Christ right on the floor of our living room. It was amazing. This guy blows up the 'I'm pursuing Jesus' scale like it's cool. It challenges me as I'm in my own season of sorting my pursuit of Christ. There's just something about someone who is so absolutely consumed by authentically walking with Jesus that is infectious - and it's been infecting me.

As my friend is seeing everything in the light of Christ for the first time, I am realizing I've become accustomed to God. Everything he comes across in God blows him away! It drives him into worship! As the duality of God's transcendent and imminent character begins to click in his mind - that the very God who made a tree, who made him, longs for the purest, intimate relationship relationship with him - you can just see the worship begin to pour out.

This is why I say I've become glory-numb. I know this truth, but I haven't really allowed it to sink in like I used to.

And then I read this:

2The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The LORD takes vengeance on his foes and maintains his wrath against his enemies. 3The LORD is slow to anger and great in power; the LORD will not leave the guilty unpunished. His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of his feet. 4He rebukes the sea and dries it up; he makes all the rivers run dry. Bashan and Carmel wither and the blossoms of Lebanon fade. 5The mountains quake before him and the hills melt away. The earth trembles at his presence, the world and all who live in it. 6Who can withstand his indignation? Who can endure his fierce anger? His wrath is poured out like fire; the rocks are shattered before him. 7The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him (Nahum 1:2-7)

I think there's something lost when we let our little finite brains give up on trying to grasp God's glory. After a while who pays any attention to clouds, much less recognizes that they are the dust of God's feet?

We'll never grasp the greatness of our God, but to allow ourselves to give up on trying to do so seems to rob us of whatever glimpse we may actually catch completely.

I know that all of this sounds like basic Christianity 101. And that's because it is. If there's anything I'm learning lately its that I have not remotely come close to passing basic Christianity 101. In my previous post about brokenness I talked about one of my favorite verses (Is. 57:15). What makes the truth of that verse so much more amazing if you're in a season of being broken like me - is if you can try to grasp how high and lofty the high and lofty One really is. A good place to start would be with Nahum 1. The very understanding that the One who can rebuke the sea and it will dry up, desires to literally dwell with me and revive my heart drives me into worship. It's that very same voice that calls us by a new name (Is. 62) and gives us purpose and belonging when we feel we have none.

Here's to redeeming our first love, again and again (and again, and again, and again).

Dying to Live

2010-07-15T23:04:00.003-04:00

People will tell you death brings purpose in life. We have this short existence, therefore we're making the most of it while we still can. We live to die.

What's crazy is that when we're redeemed into the Kingdom of God, we live, to die, to live again. Just like Jesus did. I think many Christians, myself included quickly write off the fundamentals of our existence. Yes, absolutely, everyone knows about the focus shift that happens when Christ takes His rightful place as King in our lives. We receive eternal perspective - after all as Christians we're eternal beings living in battered sinful bodies that won't be worth anything after they disintegrate into dust. Everybody knows that.

But do we live it?

I've been reminded lately, that death precedes new life. I wrote last night about the season of brokenness I'm in. I've never been broken about things I've gained, only things I've lost. Honestly I'm not really driven to the throne of God when someone blesses me with a hundred dollars. I may go there to praise Him but I'm not driven there. But man, when I have only a hundred dollars in my bank account to live on for the next few weeks - I am with the Lord every shot I get. Death is loss. Loss is brokenness. I am mourning many deaths in my life right now. And that's fine. For three days the disciples and followers of Jesus had opportunity to mourn his death. That was all fine and good, but it surely didn't keep God from glorifying Jesus in His resurrection.

I think as Christians we do the same thing. I say 'Christians', but I really mean myself. A lot of things have been put to death in my life lately. I've been walking around with Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" stuck in my head for the last three months. Sometimes, with me at least, things can get so rough there's a certain point that I can't be upset anymore that they just become funny. So lately I'm pretty used to seeing things I care about fall to pieces, and there it is - that catchy little baseline from Queen starts to creep into my head.

I don't know what it is about this season but I have either had to put things that mattered to me do death out of obedience to the Lord, or even worse seen the Lord put the things I won't release to Him to death Himself. It's almost a daily occurrence now, I can look around my life and see all the bridges burning to the ground and it sucks. I mean it really hurts. But it's God.

God's people aren't supposed to live in a dying existence. They're called to live in a resurrection existence. Before you get the forest, the seed must literally die to birth a tree (metaphor borrowed from Louie Giglio). Death precedes life in the Kingdom of God. Wacko I know, but when has anything God does ever really made too much sense?

I really feel like with all the dying going on in my life, it's about time to stop mourning so I don't miss all the resurrecting that's about to go down. I'm working on my very own forest. At this rate it'll be monstrous. As a matter of fact I've answered my question from yesterday's post. When did I pray for all this brokenness? I remember now. I was sitting in the Phillips Arena in Atlanta GA, with 20,000 other college students and Louie Giglio got up on the stage and said "let's just all die!" That simple. And my heart hammered hard at his suggestion. Because I understood something I've forgotten in the midst of all this death, that something has to be dead before it can be resurrected. It's the same in our lives - let's just die so that God can raise us up, so that we can live in the resurrection life.

Gal. 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me

Col. 3:5-10
5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Brokenness.

2010-07-14T01:01:00.004-04:00

I really blog just for my own benefit. I think it's great that ministers can reach out to their church during the week through the amazing integration of the internet into everyday culture with things like blogs, facebook and twitter, my good friend and boss Bryan Roberts (www.theylookliketrees.com) has an uncanny knack for it - but for me it's all about transparency, the opportunity to expose my weaknesses so I can make every effort for God to glorify Himself in them. Not to say it's not about transparency for others, but when I decided to blog about worship I made the decision that it would be an opportunity to show that worship leaders - professional worshipers so to speak - also daily struggle to turn what occurs for 20 minutes on a Sunday into a lifestyle. I've had some really amazing men of God come alongside me and instruct me while I struggle and wrestle my way towards a more effective worship ministry. If there was anything they all had in common it was their transparency. To the people they were leading, it was clear that they were real people, struggling with real things. And that made these amazing men into some of the best worship pastors, youth pastors, husbands, fathers, mentors and friends I have ever had the opportunity to meet. So in this season as I try to blog more regularly I'm all about transparency. Because I want the people I lead to see me as I am. That may mean a lot of doom and gloom posts ending in a refrain of joy and hope in Christ. Have you read the blog of one of the most talented worship leaders ever? His name is King David and I believe his blog is called the Book of Psalms. He has a lot of posts like that - and if I can emulate David I must be doing alright.

Here's what I'm learning lately. Brokenness is the number one occupational hazard of worship leaders. And I honestly mean that I'm learning it lately. I don't know why, because it seems like worship leader 101, and I've been diving into this stuff for a while. But without a doubt I'm just discovering it. See that's how God and I communicate sometimes. When He wants to teach me, I just talk over Him most of the time and after a few knocks over the head with Jesus' gentle 2x4 of instruction I finally get it. So bear with me as I'm on about knock six and finally coming to this revelation.

There's a verse that's stuck with me for so many years... brought to me by a great friend and brother in the Lord who's impacted me more than he knows. It's found in Is. 57:15

For this is what the high and lofty One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.

Now at the age of 15 when my buddy Nate shared this verse with me, I to this day still remember being amazed that there were actually people who read all the way through Isaiah to find nuggets of applicable truth for a hurting kid in need among all the prophetic nonsense. Honestly who had time for that? But that verse kept showing up in times of brokenness, of which I've had many over the years, and two things became clear.

1. God in his mighty, super-relational love has left his high and holy place to be with me. The One who is so transcendent beyond understanding is imminently available to me. Amazing.

2. If I'm broken, God is so near to me, that he literally dwells with me.

Now number 1 has so permanently messed me up forever. It is literally at the core of everything I know and believe about how we are to worship our God and it brings me to tears to think that we have the kind of King who is among His people, not far off or distant. It changes your perspective on worship because every moment wasted on something meaningless is a moment that could have been spent with the Creator of the Universe. Before Jesus became my High Priest, only one person, for all people, once a year could go be in the presence of God. Now with Christ as my High Priest God is immediately available all the time and desires to have an intimate relationship with me. It should make our heads hurt to think that the most important being, not just of all time, but actually the One who created time, wants the closest of relationship with us. That's just crazy, and will never ever make sense, and why try and make sense of God when you can just worship him instead.

Number 2 is the reason why I say brokenness is the primary occupational hazard of worship leaders. It's simple really - good worship leaders are the ones who've been with Jesus. They're the ones who so badly want to be in the throne room that they want to drag a ton of people with them. Broken people are near to God.

I would say God is pretty near to me these days. When I think back on the last three months of my life the amount of frustration, missed opportunities, insecurity, discontentment, tears, anger, and failure is overwhelming. I'm totally broken. I've done it all lately with God. I've cussed, wept, begged, bargained, threatened and pleaded with him to take situation after situation from me. No luck. God doesn't operate that way. He'll have His glory in spite of me.

I'm living Is. 57:15 right now. God has never been closer, and it honestly feels like I've never been more broken. I'm loving every minute of it. I know that somewhere along the line I prayed for this. I don't remember what it was, maybe I asked God to make me a better worship leader, or maybe I asked Him to give me opportunity to draw nearer to Him, or maybe I just asked him to keep me humble. I don't know what it was, but that particular prayer has surely been answered. When I invent the time machine I'm gonna go back and tell past Ben not to pray for that kind of stuff.

Psalm 143:11

For the sake of Your name, O LORD, revive me. In Your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble.

Glory to God.

Sadistic gods and Holy White Out

2010-07-12T12:02:00.003-04:00

The longer I've had my relationship with Jesus Christ, there's one characteristic of His that I'm finding a little bit more annoying each day. It's His gentleness. Seriously, Jesus just loves me WAY too much.

Here's what I've discovered lately:

There are a lot of things in my life I thought I had already overcome - sort of my 'dangers, toils, and snares top 50'. Well I have given myself (once again) way too much credit. This is the part where God's gentleness comes in. It's becoming clear as I let the Lord lead me that we're returning to familiar territory. Think Psalm 23 imagery for a minute... This is a very paraphrased version of a conversation I've had with God lately:

"God, that green pastures stuff is great! Let's do more of that."
"Alright Ben, but we've got to go over here first"
"Uh God, I've already been there before, why would we go there?"
"Because the last time we went there, you chickened out and didn't follow through"

(I hope you pictured Jesus the Shepherd and me as a taking sheep! As I read that again it actually goes down kind of like a Family Guy montage. Is that weird?)

So what I'm learning as I pursue Jesus harder than I ever have in my life, is that I'm a big loser. That's cool because Jesus only hangs out with guys like that. Even more-so I am learning that God, in His supreme knowledge and understanding, is allowing me to return to some very painful past failures through new ones. This is because He loves me with a bigger, more awesome powerful love than I could ever understand. God is not a sadist! However truth be told I've spent some real time calling Him that lately. But it's not the case at all. Once I realized He wasn't forcing me to reface many of my insecurities I encountered as a younger Christian because He enjoyed hurting me, but because He was gentle enough to allow me to move on to the next thing before I really overcame it that first time, it all became much clearer.

So as I spend more time with Jesus, He rolls in with His Holy White Out and goes to work on my 'dangers, toils and snares top 50. And then off we go, back to familiar places, with familiar painful scenery. Except this time we're going to walk all the way through it. I'm no where near comfortable - but Jesus promised peace, not comfort. I'm done painting a sadistic god as the one I'm following. I've had my time to moan and complain, and now I'm going to chase the God who has to stoop down to see the Heavens and the Earth (read Ps. 113 sometime!).

So here's to realizing we're not as put together as we think we are!

Sunday Is Coming

2010-02-27T17:57:00.001-05:00

John 4:1-26

¹The Pharisees heard that Jesus was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John, ²although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. ³When the Lord learned of this, he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee.

⁴Now he had to go through Samaria. ⁵So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. ⁶Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about the sixth hour.

⁷When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?"⁸(His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

⁹The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]})

¹⁰Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

¹¹"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? ¹²Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"

¹³Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

¹⁵The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water."

¹⁶He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back."

¹⁷"I have no husband," she replied.

Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. ¹⁸The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."

¹⁹"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. ²⁰Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."

²¹Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. ²²You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews.²³Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.²⁴God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

²⁵The woman said, "I know that Messiah" (called Christ) "is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."

²⁶Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he."

It Is Well

2010-02-25T22:02:00.003-05:00

The Worship War. It's an ugly term. It's a concept we've all experienced and it basically comes down to drums v. organ. Now I could post about that all day and night, but maybe another time. I think hymns are not the ONLY way to worship nor do I think they're COMPLETELY irrelevant to the church today! I think people prefer to worship in the same way they speak. The novelty of adding an '-ith' onto the end of a word doesn't really lead me to worship more. Unless I sing it and realize, whoa, this song is REALLY old, which can be cool because then you know other Christians in times gone by have experienced the same frustrations and desires you have!

So now for those who are major worship songwriters who share my positive but not exclusive view of hymns we get to see some really cool redone versions come about that really lead us in worship. I was listening to a new CD I recently picked up on my way to work this morning and a great redone version of the old hymn 'it is well' came on. I was immediately broken before God. The lyrics deeply moved me and spoke to my current situation. So for my post today I'd like to share it. Let the words soak in and resonate with you...

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,   when sorrows like sea billows roll;   whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,   It is well, it is well with my soul.  Refrain:  It is well with my soul,   it is well, it is well with my soul.   2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,   let this blest assurance control,   that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,   and hath shed his own blood for my soul.   (Refrain)   3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!   My sin, not in part but the whole,   is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,   praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!   (Refrain)   4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,   the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;   the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,   even so, it is well with my soul.   (Refrain)

Squeezed

2010-02-24T17:28:00.004-05:00

What happens when you squeeze an orange? You get orange juice.

What happens when you squeeze a worship leader? You get a new passionate worship song that is the heart-cry of a generation!

Ok, not usually. But there's still time!

I've been getting squeezed a lot. To be honest February has not been my month. I got myself into quite the financial pit - one that I'm still climbing out of. Now I don't say that so that people will feel sorry for me, the truth is that the person who gets the most out of this blog is me. Call it an attempt to 'work out my salvation with fear and trembling' (Phil. 2). So I say it, I'm pretty screwed right now with money. It's not fun. This whole independent living thing is new too. Until now I've never felt the fear of what it means when you know you wont be able to pay all of your bills.

I know that by world standards I'm pretty wealthy, so call me vain if you want, but for some reason this month I feel like I've gotten a taste of what it is to be 'poor'. It's just the truth, you don't know what it's like to loose sleep over not having enough until you really dont have enough.

So what happens when we're squeezed? We see the inner contents. I actually like the metaphor in 1 Peter better. What happens when we BURN?!

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, ⁵who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Pet. 1:3-9)

I think we've all heard the sermon before, or even better sung the song. So there's no point in reiterating it. We know that the heat causes the impurities to come to the top so they can be removed from the gold to make it more pure - just like our faith.

Honestly, I think a lot of complacent, American Christians (myself included) read that and think "what a nice metaphor."

It is a nice metaphor... until you are literally in the fire, then it hurts! Do I keep giving to the church when I cant afford it? How can I thank God for this opportunity to grow when I blame Him for it?! When will this trial end? What's the point anyway? These are all questions that have gone through my mind lately. I was blessed to speak on this very passage at a small group a week ago, and the next day I was right back at the same grind. I had to be reminded by multiple other people to take heed of my own instruction! And the truth is that all ministers have experienced that. It makes you feel pretty lame.

So I'm still in the trial. I don't want to make the mistake of overspiritualizing it. To be honest I don't feel too spiritual right now anyway. But I do know that there is joy to be had in this situation. Why? Because God says so, that's why. I don't think that the joy will replace the suffering and frustration (after all I'm here of my own doing), but I do think the joy can allow me to make it to the end, and once I reach the other side of this valley I'll be glad for it and will offer an even greater worship to God!

To God be the glory.

The Deal With Humility

2010-02-23T21:41:00.003-05:00

The deal is, I have none. Or at least it seems like it.

Until lately I couldn't figure out why it seems like I'm getting knocked down a peg on a daily basis. But then I remembered... In January when I went to the Passion conference in Atlanta, my heart's cry was to be made humble. To be able to behold my insignificant place in relation to our great God so that I can offer Him even more glory. Sounds pretty great doesn't it?

Ok, first of all, I'm gonna stop praying for stuff like that.

Lately, 'insignificant' is an understatement. Honestly, I think I pretty much stink. I'm bad at everything I think I'm good at, and I'm even worse at the the things I'm terrible at. I think in the last two weeks, everything that I seem to think gives me 'value' has been literally mocked.

Sounds familiar...

Prov. 3:34: He mocks proud mockers, but gives grace to the humble

I work in a music store when I'm not working for CR. I hear some BAD music. Bad like: "dude, honestly maybe it's time to reconsider where your talents really may be." So I mock them. This comes from the guy who honestly thinks he can shred around a fair number of guitar players (lies) but really only knows a collection of chords. Sometimes I'm even afraid to play guitar in public. Why? Because I got no chops. I play nice pretty chords. That's about it. And I know on many occasion I have made a mockery of my own self because of my lack of humility.

Here's the disconnect. It's all about what we consider valuable.

There's only one American currency. I can't roll up to Wal-Mart, grab a CD off the shelf (who buys CD's anymore anyway...) and go through the check out and pull out a big wad of pocket lint expecting to get that CD! No dude! They want cold, hard cash!

So in my attempt to get some humility, my so-called 'talent' just doesn't cut it. It's not the currency. What is however is insignificance.

Whoa, Ben, make some sense...

It's simple. It's not the places of strength God values, it's the places of weakness. Wanna know what started this whole silly mess where I keep getting humbled by God? I was listening to John Piper say (more or less verbatim): "Insignificance in the presence of greatness is the capstone of pure joy."

If you want to live a humble, content, grace-filled, humble life then recognize what's lacking and embrace it as an opportunity for God to glorify Himself.

So what's the application? How does Ben get humble? He embraces his weak spots as potential opportunities for God to glorify Himself through Ben. As a matter of fact, I would describe them as 'potential' opportunities, but as imminent ones.

How can one be a proud mocker when everything you are waits on God to cover up the mess?

But seriously though, be careful what you pray for...

Galatians 6:14

¹⁴May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

Furiously Loved

2010-02-22T22:18:00.000-05:00

Man, I waste time like it's going out of style...

And I'm not talking about the semi-productive type of wasting time where you feel like you're running around in circles because you're so busy and you get to the end of the day and you wish God made 8 day weeks. I'm talking about just the blatant waste of time where you just throw it away like money on an impulse buy.

I am the king of wasting time.

I've been thinking a lot about God lately. Don't let that surprise you, it's kind of my job. But I've been thinking about the relational character of God more than usual. I really wonder what it feels like to have your entire creation spend most of their time worrying about themselves all the time while paying you homage to "keep you happy". Call me cynical, but it's true.

That's how it is with me and God a lot. I've written about this before, sometimes, I actually forget He's there. I could sit here, chin deep in worship charts with three bibles open and worship music blaring and still not really realize that He is here.

He is here all the time.

God's love towards us is the deep, pulsating, intoxicating, overwhelming love that bursts at the seams continuously. On the other hand, if you have a relationship with God, generally in comparison our love seems to be something we try to stir up. It may have moments of passion, but most of the time it seems to smolder. It's like the difference between a furious torrential downpour and a dripping faucet.

I've got a feeling that when Christ's blood was spilt on the cross it surely didn't slowly drip out. It poured out.

So, somehow, I manage to go on ignoring the grandeur of this monstrous love and proceed on with the daily routine, paying occasional homage because I'm worried I may fall into finical trouble or relational distress with my friends if I don't maintain airs of a so-called prayer life. I would even assert, that I am the very definition of an abuser in this relationship. I take everything and give nearly nothing back.

I'm not in any way suggesting that we should try and equal out the love scale with God a little more. That would just be plain stupid, not to mention impossible. The issue at hand is not to right the wrong. We couldn't do that ourselves which is why God accomplished that through the cross. For me the issue at hand is perspective. Because perspective drives reaction.

I'm sure there are a hundred different ways to run with this, and I'm probably missing a lot of opportunities by simplifying it. But for me it comes back to time. I spend a whole lot of time doing everything but spending time with God. I'm not talking about thirty minutes of 'quiet time' where I get up and look at the sunset and read a couple Psalms then go about my day. I'm talking about living inside this massive relationship with a God that I know all of eternity won't even allow me enough time to understad.

Now what that really looks like, I don't know. But I do know that practically speaking, my watching TV to bible reading ratio is pretty disappointing. Maybe I'll start there.

W(ord). I(n). W(orship). O(ut). A life of overflow.

2009-11-03T08:54:00.005-05:00

I'm about to do something very dangerous. I'm about to meditate on something that I am not doing very well on right now. I think the reason for that is because the Holy Spirit has put this very thing on my heart. So I'll write and try to live out.

Garbage in, garbage out. A way to explain human error when our technology cannot come up with the right answer. It's been a while - but I can still remember my 7th grade math and science teacher writing that on the white board as we struggled to input hard equations into giant bricks of graphing calculators. This required following directions - something 7th graders really aren't that good at. So it was evidenced by the whining chorus of "Ms. Hooper I keep getting e-r-r on my screen!" that our 7th grade minds had finally come to the academic hurdle that required us to actually try.

It's pretty simple - what goes in will affect the outcome. When we put gas in the tank, the car goes. When we don't, it doesn't.

Now comes the part I try to live out. A lot of times you hear this term 'living a lifestyle of worship' get tossed around in church - especially by worship leaders. After all - ideally what happens on Sunday is only a tiny extension of what is happening throughout this week.

As I've studied worship - I've discovered there's this fragile cycle that helps us maintain our worship lifestyle. The more of God we put in, the more of Him that spills out of us, that more that spills out, the hungrier we are to put more in.

It looks like this: when we're putting God in these are acts of revelation - opportunities to recognize God and his nature. Often he reveals Himself through the Word, or in prayer - or in worship as he fills and encourages us with His Holy Spirit. These revelations rise to a peak, until we can no longer just observe, but act!! And that is when the worship overflow begins in our lives! The spilling out is a response to what we've seen in God. It can be praise directed to Him in worship, it can be ministering to the hurting, it can be reflecting our revelation of Christ as we give away our possessions and time to those who need it. Each act of response can only happen if fueled by a revelation of God. If we get to the point where we're pouring out but not putting in, that's where burnout happens. If we only put in and don't spill out, that's where discontent happens. The more we spill out, the more we can pour in. The more we pour out, the spill out the more we can pour in.

And the more we do that, the more we become like Christ. Molded. Shaped. Cultivated - into a new creation.

Worship coming from the inside out.

Trying to live a life of overflow with you,
Ben

Faith Will Really Mess You Up

2009-10-30T22:59:00.003-04:00

That's pretty much what I've discovered about God since moving here to New Bern, North Carolina. If you put your faith in God, get ready for things to spin way out of your control - and honestly I'd have it no other way.

Today I made two trips to Raleigh from New Bern. Count em. TWO. That's 2.5 hrs one way x4. That's a lot of time in the car - and way too much fast food for one day.

I don't know if you're like me - but some of the most divine inspiration comes while I'm in the car. That's where the beginnings of most of my worship songs are birthed (as a matter of fact one may have been today) - and it's probably one of the places I encounter God the deepest. I think it's because it reduces distractions. For example, it literally takes all the screens out of my environment. And like any good American, I look at screens more than anything in the real world. TV, computer, phone. All gone (that is if you're driving on the right side of the law). Then there's just the quiet and me. It seems somehow if I drive long enough, my brain tends to come down from high orbit around Planet God and land for a while. All day long I struggle with my distance from God. I'm too busy, too tired, too lazy, or just too ADD to step into that secret place of meeting with God. But when I'm in the car, most of those things don't last long.

How can one not center on God driving down a highway lined with beautiful trees changing color in the fall? A creator and artist, who is divinely and lovingly involved in his creation and masterpiece! It's amazing! And the best part is realizing that the beautiful landscape of those trees along the highway doesn't remotely get a fraction of a thought with God compared to often he thinks about the landscape of our hearts that he has laid out with his own hands.

So at the culmination of my evening (at this point i was getting a bit too tired to ponder much more) I turned on the radio for the last half an hour of my drive.

I love talk radio - and not only that - but the voices help me stay awake and i was getting pretty drowsy. I was so excited to find that the Raleigh NPR station was airing my favorite program "This American Life". But I drove out of range before I could hear the end.

So what else was available?

Growing up in suburban Chicago I've developed a special love for Christian talk radio (only recently though) because of our close proximity to Moody in the city. It can be a bit cheesy sometimes - but the message is always there with the word, and it can be really encouraging.

As I tuned in - God was loading up the big gun. If you read my previous post - you can tell that I'm in a season of being cultivated. God is clearly at work in me, refining me in this season that began when I moved to New Bern.

And there it was. The DJ laid it down on God's behalf. I about got knocked into the back seat by my radio.

"Keeping your faith does not mean you'll get what you want in life, but it does mean you'll get what God wants you to have"

Truly, thus saith the Lord.

God has told me a lot lately that He doesn't mess around. Things can get tight, and I decide to flake, but He's clearly had enough of that. If we are faithful to God, the outcome is almost guaranteed to be different than what we want. But I've decided I like the One who's laid the landscape of the earth (and my heart) choosing my direction. I've been so messed up by a God who loves me so much.

Keep the faith. God only breaks down to rebuild.

Blessings,
Ben

Cultivation Situation

2009-10-28T13:25:00.003-04:00

God is always speaking.

I'm hardly ever listening.

Somewhere between my American tendency to completely overload my senses with entertainment, music and technology and and my sinful tendency to ignore God anyway, He still seems to get a word in edgewise. And when I say a 'word' i mean a WORD. More like the Word that is breathed from the mouth of God.

It's only recently that I've tuned back into what God's transmitting. Its almost sadly ironic to read my last post (dated sept. 1st by the way) about redeeming first love. Once again I find myself in the awkward situation many a minster does when he realizes he didn't even have the guts to take his own advice.

I'm so glad that grace doesn't keep score.

In agriculture - the act of cultivating crops requires all the right pieces in the right places at the right times. Growing up in semi-rural Illinois, year after year I'd see this process occur right outside of my bedroom window as various crops were sown, rained on, grown, and collected on a tight schedule so that by the time winter arrives all the fruit of the effort is safely stored away in silos and grain houses. If anything in this process was out of perfect balance - planting too late, reaping too early, too much or not enough rain - the yield would not be as good as it could have been in a perfect situation.

Ever wonder why creation can so easily reflect our walk with God?

I'm being cultivated right now. I always have been, but this season God is promising a good yield. All the parts are in play. God's timing. My brokenness. Gods kindness in breaking me.

I want more than anything to respond to this process with all my heart. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Precious minutes slip by as I can spend an evening watching hours of television and zero minutes with God. I'm pathetic. And that's why God is cultivating me. My citizenship in God's Kingdom is being proven legitimate as I squirm and struggle while God strips away the bad stuff I love so much.

I know that Christ didn't hang on a cross for me so that I could continue to offer God my last fruits. The thick divider between God's presence in the Holy of Holies and the rest of the world was physically torn in two, and now the very Spirit of God resides in our bodies that act as temples to house Him. Maybe it's time to clean house, because all the conditions are right to cultivate some fresh fruit in my life.

Ben

Redeeming Our First Love Again and Again

2009-09-01T19:18:00.004-04:00

As a worshipper there seems to be constant theme in my life in the ebb and flow of my relationship with God. I'll go through very intimate seasons, truly head over heels with Jesus, then after a while my desire will weaken through the temptation of sin, tiredness and business. Usually after a few weeks of that I find myself on my knees crying out for God to return, like the ubiquitous voice throughout the psalms that says "Lord do not turn from me!", and I'll return to God, beautifully broken only to find myself in a little time wandering scared and feeling alone again.

Clearly I'm not the first worshipper to experience this in their walk. Kind David, the worshipper of worshippers seems to endure the same thing as he praises and cries out to the Lord. But the worshipper always discovers in the end that he was the unfaithful one, and God never moved.

I think this is part of the reason that God gave us the Holy Spirit. Our flesh is weak by itself, and often we find a need for God to prop us up. The Holy Spirit can even act as spiritual hunger. It's kind of funny when people pray for God to give them a hunger for the Word. I know when I pray that I am thinking that I would like Him to make me hungry for more - to find it harder and harder to be satisfied with little. But actually, if you think about it, hunger is a mechanism that keeps us from starving ourselves so we don't die. All that discomfort is screaming at us that we have to eat. I know that when I forgo more than two meals, not only does my stomach hurt, but my head starts to pound.

I'm finding the Holy Spirit working in a similar way in my life. I go one, two, three days without spending time in God's presence and reading His Word, and suddenly I feel out of place, even depressed (since depression has always been my emotional response to distress). Even after this long I forget that those feelings are the Holy Spirit literally telling me 'eat or you'll die!'. Jesus talked about the bread of God's word, and it's no surpass we feel sick when we go without it.

John's address to the church in Ephesus in Rev. chapter 2 is scary. It's scary because it could easily be me. And it could easily be the Church as a whole.

Revelation 2:1-7 says:

¹"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: ²I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. ³You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. ⁴Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. ⁵Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. ⁶But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. ⁷He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

Let me summarize that like this: "you're doing well, and I've noted it! But I only wish you could see what you used to be like! Regain the childlike love of Christ you used to have!"

The Nicolatians were basically compromisers. They lived in the church and under God's grace, but practiced all kinds of sins as they pleased. It sounds like the church at Ephesus has taken a stand against this group, but it's clear that John believes that is not enough. Similarly - as Christians it's easy to 'be' Christian. We can renounce sin, but still not be offering our full devotion to God. Sometimes our primary love even becomes the physical act of doing ministry - or acting Christian. I know it has for me. Many times in my life I've been more concerned with leading powerful praise and worship, and have sacrificed my relationship with God in the process. I've even missed my quiet time with God to make a rehearsal. Then quickly, pride creeps in and I have a bigger issue.

The church as a whole also struggles with the issue of first love. Often a church born out of beautiful intentions to serve Christ, and be Christ to the world can place people and their own fame above the call of Christ. All you have to do is see all the mega churches that have modified their gospel to make it easier to swallow, because they've forgotten that the goal is to bring the gospel of Christ to a world that hates Christ and will not come to a gospel that requires sacrifice. Sadly the largest church in our country, Lakewood, has become so twisted that it is more of a self help seminiar every week than a church service.

It's expected that we will constantly do battle with our sinful nature both individually and as the Church. Mistakes will be made, but what I see in David's heart is that when he finds himself lacking the right priorities, he falls to his knees and cries out for God to be set again in the rightful place, enthroned in his heart.

As Christians, we shouldn't expect to redeem our first love in Christ only a few times. We should actually expect to be praying that prayer all the time, repenting of our lack of priorities, and returning to the arms of a God who holds infinite chances in his hands.

Ps. 123:1-3

¹ I lift up my eyes to you,
to you whose throne is in heaven.

² As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master,
       as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress,
       so our eyes look to the LORD our God,
       till he shows us his mercy.

³ Have mercy on us, O LORD, have mercy on us,
for we have endured much contempt.

Only God can be infinite in his mercy. And His love is limitless. He is our portion and our prize.

Redeeming our first love with you,

Ben

Claiming the promise of God's faithfulness

2009-08-19T15:16:00.001-04:00

I've been thinking a lot over the last few months about God's faithfulness. From day 1 of my new season here at the CR my prayer has always been that God would begin to build a faithful team of musicians and worshippers around our ministry that I can shepherd and even be shepherded by myself! It's so funny how our memories are so short. It seems like ages ago I was crying out to God in my desire for a great band. But it really wasn't that long ago. Now that we've been thoroughly blessed by some real champions of musicians and worshippers I've turned my prayers towards expansion - more musicians, even this morning I felt led to pray for an army of worshippers! There is no doubt that God will be faithful with that too!

I think sometimes as Christians we get so caught up worrying when God will finally swoop in a and bring a solution to the problem, especially when we feel strongly that He has confirmed and promised one!

Lately God's really improved my working situation. I've been able to resign from a 2nd job that I really really disliked, to the 2nd job I've wanted since the day I've moved here! I remember back to how patiently I waited on God, then how I got frustrated that His promise wasn't happening in my personal timing! I remember how disappointed I was when my checking account dried up and I had to settle for sub par. But that doesn't mean that God revoked his promise. It just happened at a later time!

There's two actions on my mind lately in regards to prayer life.

1) truly claiming a promise in Jesus name, and expecting to receive it

2) praising God and giving Him the Glory upon that promise coming true

At least on my part - i sometimes tend to ask and ask and ask God for something. Kind of like that kid in target bugging his parent over and over for a toy. That's not how our relationship with our heavenly father works though. So many times in scripture God speaks to the fact that he is true to his Word and how He loves to give good gifts to his children! I think of Jesus during the sermon on the mount explaining that good parents never give their child a bad gift when they ask (i.e. a stone instead of bread) - then how much more great will the gift from our perfect, heavenly father be?

We need to actively claim promises in Jesus name, and expect to get them fulfilled by the father. God is not a man that he should like - nor a son of man of man that he should change his mind (Paraphrase from Numbers). I'm not talking about corvettes falling from the sky - but I am talking about a spirt of expectancy in our prayers. Here at CR - we are still truly a church plant. We have huge dreams, just imagine if all the people at our church started actively claiming promises about our church in Jesus' name! I can tell you this we'd see immense growth! Our very own building would be around the corner! And we would have a great presence in the community! Our own faith in what God can do will show him to be faithful!

It's time to actively expect more!

And on the flipside - God gets the glory when the promise is fulfilled. We need to remember to give to God what is due, because we were created to glorify and enjoy Him!

God love's an expectant heart. Faithful expectancy costs nothing - let's raise the bar.

Blessings,

Ben

If you have a ton of money and talent...

2009-08-17T16:31:00.002-04:00

... you can afford to make the biggest, ugliest drumset in the world!!

Even Our Bass Drum Loves Church Relevant

2009-08-15T21:35:00.003-04:00

God Is Moving Through The Church!

2009-08-13T23:10:00.007-04:00

God's been really good to me. Like really good. I've gotten to do a lot of things that many people don't get to do. Doors for me to explore and employ my passions have always opened to me by the grace of God - and it's truly amazing. But for the first time ever I'm walking in a fresh season, an even better one. My short time here as I've begun to serve at CR has been powerful. And to be honest, for the first time again, I myself believe in the church. I've spent so much time getting angry, even sinfully bitter about how the way the church treats people, treats God and has treated me. I remember having discussion after discussion with friends about what needs to 'happen' with the global church to get to where it's truly representing Christ as the bride. Not only are those things happening by the grace of God, but they're occurring, right here, organically before my very eyes.

I'm reminded again that Church is people. Church is real. Church is fellowship, Church is unity in brokenness and Church is unity in hope in redemption. There's nothing more beautiful than seeing people care for one another as Christ has cared for them.

God is doing things here at CR. I don't just say that because I work here. I say that because I've never been so encouraged. Expect more. Expect abundantly more. God has his hand here, and if this church continues to grow as the beautifully broken group of people it is into a giant group of beautifully broken people, the world wont know what hit it.

Let's not be afraid to pray that our ministry will have impact on a Global scale! Nothing is impossible with God. I'm so excited to see a true representation of the body of Christ occurring here in New Bern.

If we want to be proactive with our prayers, or if we feel stuck in praying the same thing over and over or feel like we always pray for ourselves - there's no more important thing to pray for than the church. The Church is God's 'plan A'. Actually - as I read it in the bible, the Church is God's only plan! What an amazing opportunity we have to be the Church here in New Bern.

I hope that all the CR people reading this right now can agree with me that when our God appointed leader, Bryan, asked us to double our expectations, that there was something truly special about it. If we double our expectations, I know God will surpass even the greatest expectations.

Jesus is coming back soon. Let's get busy.

trying to be the church,

Ben

Unity is Key

2009-08-12T14:00:00.003-04:00

Unity is something that's been close to my heart lately. There's something powerful when all the parts of a machine work together in unison. Like that watch that is finely tuned to tell time accurately - all the little tiny gears and hands working together for a common goal. Even in music unity is a key component. 'Being in the pocket' is a common term in ensemble settings. It can mean different things to different people and genres, but it generally implies that all the parts are synching up perfectly together to achieve an effect that was formerly unachievable.

I think it could be said that unity and community are wed to one another. Just look at the spellings. There is no unity without multiple parts. Even our bodies are built out of a united community. Our veins and arteries perform opposite jobs, sending and returning blood, but without one of either of those we would fail. Even God exists in unity. The Trinity. Father, Son and Spirit, all who are equally the same being but yet perform very different actions.

The same should be said of the Church. The Church, is a living, thriving entity that when all parts are not in unison, seems to be crippled. Jesus even intended for the Church to be known for it's oneness. In John 17:20-21 Jesus, after praying for his disciples then prays for the church: ²⁰"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

I've talked before how God's 'C'hurch often becomes a bunch of 'c'hurches, which is very true. And it's very crippling when we represent the 'C'hurch and try to tell the world that Jesus was sent by the Father. I want to challenge even further the Church though, and point out that division in our communities of Christians extends far beyond individual churches. As people we have a general tendency to create 'dis-community' - the ideal metaphor would be a high school cafeteria - pretty self explanatory. By rallying others to join our community we cast out from our communities at the same time.

In the church the largest catalyst of 'dis-community' is so-called doctrine. I am in no way saying that we should attempt to water down truth or stop seeking it alltogether. However in the finite human attempt to explain the infinite God, we have created unnecessary fissures in the body of Christ. If tradition is the destroyer of our witness in the more 'classical' church, then I would say that interpreting doctrinal speculation as absolute truth is the destroyer of our witness in the 'modern' church. When did debating the semantics of our faith become an addiction? There are just certain things about God we may never understand! As a matter of fact we may never understand them even on the other side of heaven! I strongly believe that these kind of debates are just as much a detriment to the faith of a new believer, or the opportunity of an unbeliever to become a new believer as is the alienation created by 'tradition' in more 'denominational' circles. That's quite a controversial point to make, I know. And it may be wrong, but when I read the words of the Apostle Paul urging the church to do everything possible to keep the peace, i know something is not working in unity when we prize human speculation above above Christlike peace.

Eph. 4:1-5 says: ¹As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ²Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ⁴There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— ⁵one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Undoubtedly peace is a higher prize than knowledge. I'm not saying don't pursue such debate, but it has to be in the proper context where it can occur so that it 'keeps the unity of the Spirit.' Some may not admit to it, but even casual discussions of speculative doctrine as truth - while seeming gentle on the outside, have a tendency to eventually work their way into affecting the unity of the Church eventually. There is no such thing as 'casual gossip', we know as believers that gossip in all forms is wrong! Why then is there 'casual division'. I'm calling it what it is. We need to be careful what we put our time, energy and words into.

There is however, a flipside to this argument. And it's very important. Truth is absolutely worth defending. As long as it is actually truth. No person or church should ever be able to run around spreading false doctrine and go unchallenged.

Two specific doctrines come to mind.

1) The seeker sensitive movement: now that's the politically correct term. Of course we should be seeker sensitive since that is the great commission that Christ gave before ascending to heaven. What this movement really does is remove the atonement of the Cross (foundational truth) from our doctrine, and feeds it to believers and unbelievers alike as the 'mild' flavor of Christ's message of salvation. Without the cross in the picture, there is no justice and we still stand condemned. Jesus came to a previously condemned world and took the fall on our behalf. It was bloody, it was gruesome, it was horrendous, and it was just. To feed a doctrine without justice to unbelievers is deep injustice in itself because it tells those unbelievers that they have been rescued, while they actually still stand condemned in their own sin.

2) Prosperity Gospel: This is maybe an even more dangerous doctrine, because it not only leaves out the cross, but it turns Jesus into a giant Santa Claus who comes down the chimney with gifts for all the girls and boys. Never, ever, did Jesus promise finical success, social success, physical well-being, or acceptance to his followers. He warned his disciples, that since they followed him they would be treated the same if not worse. I think it's absolutely disgusting that Joel Osteen stands in his caravans stadium he calls a church and rips away the courage and honor from all those who have been martyred for their faith by telling people that Jesus is gonna make life perfect. There is no prosperity gospel in China where believers hide in a hole and stand around a tiny bible.

If we want to be united, we need to all be acting for the same cause. For the same purpose. Let's make sure our doctrinal attention is focused properly so that we can be a better Church, a united Church, and show to the world that the Church desires to be like Christ

blessings,

Ben

We're Special!

2009-08-10T12:35:00.002-04:00

Even though this is a terrible Christian parody (the singing is awful).

I think it's hilarious. And painfully true. Worship leaders are a strange,

strange breed.

New Song: God Is On The Move

2009-08-07T16:37:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I officially should never try to write html ever again. I've spent the last three hours trying to get a tiny little audio player to play my song here in the blog to no avail. Just goes to show that being a geek doesn't mean you can figure out all things geeky.

So you'll have to settle for a myspace listen. You can find the first CR inspired worship song I've written called "God Is On The Move" at www.myspace.com/theelevateproject. It's the first song, and I think it's even downloadable. Before you listen - let me give special mention to our drummer Jaime who wrote and recorded the drum tracks. It's great to be surrounded by skilled musicians!

blessings,

Ben

I Should Have Been Born In the South....

2009-08-05T15:31:00.002-04:00

So last week one of my posts was an ode to Bojangles, and after having some seriously good Chick-Fil-A today (thanks Bryan!) I have come to the conclusion that I belong in the south. The south is way better than the north. If you ask for tea up north, they give you something nasty. And there's no chick-fil-a. No Bojangles. The only think I miss is Chilli's, and if one moves to New Bern, I'm never leaving. The south is so great that they've come up with the one noun to do away with them all. Y'all. It's completely socially acceptable to use y'all in the singular or plural form. It's a beautiful thing. And I'm here to stay. I want my children to have deep southern accents and be all hopped up on sweet tea all the time. Because this is truly the promised land.

That's Gotta Collect Some Serious Interest...

2009-08-03T16:58:00.001-04:00

Ever just feel drained? Of course you have, we all do from time to time. Today I'm feeling it. According to the numerous personality tests I've taken over the years for different things, church, counseling, and even for fun - it's become obvious that I'm an emotionally charged person. And that's pretty accurate. The way I'm feeling drives what I do. It can make me freakishly impulsive, extremely passionate, or pretty seriously depressed. So today I just feel drained, therefore I'd like to just lay around and stare at the ceiling.

So since I've learned over time that falling apart on days like this isn't very useful - I turned to the word for encouragement. God may not 'feel' near today, but He sure is, and He surely reminded me that I'm His child:

Eph. 1:11-14

¹¹In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹²in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. ¹³And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, ¹⁴who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.

God picked me. Before I was even a fragment of existence, to be His child. He allowed for His perfect gospel of salvation to enter my life in the form of Jesus Christ, and when I declared His Lordship He gave me the gift of His Holy Spirit - as a promise that I would one day spend eternity with Him in perfect communion as He is in perfect communion with himself! Father, Son and Spirit.

I sometimes forget that the Holy Spirit lives inside of me. That He entered into me when Jesus became the Lord of my life. That He equips me to do great things for God's kingdom, and He enables me to endure through a tough day. He is a deposit, a down payment, ernest money even. He is a promise of the great reward to come.

And once again I'm reminded how much love God showed when He gave us His Word. My bible is much more effective when read than when used as a paperweight.

blessings,

Ben

Strength Rising

2009-07-31T14:01:00.002-04:00

Sometimes our circumstances are not ideal. At least they're not ideal to what we would like them to be. We've all been there where it appears that God seems to be heading off in a direction and we're getting kind of yanked along. Honestly, that's how I feel now.

My greatest passion is ministering to people. Like many pastors and laypeople it just gets me excited. My greatest frustration, is monotonous, boring and repetitive work that requires no brain power. This for example is why I hate to exercise. I have to drag myself off to the gym, and drag myself onto the treadmill and run for twenty minutes without getting bored. But I know I need it, and I know that my health is strengthening while I'm doing it. I'm sure reducing my weight is adding months to my life, just from less strain on my heart, but yet I still have to drag myself to the gym.

I am feeling the same way right now while working two jobs. One I love, the other I very much dislike because it's boring and repetitive. Some mornings I get up and I ask God why I'm working at Domino's, like seriously every possibly enjoyable place to work (i.e. the guitar store) ended up not hiring me. This morning I did the same thing, and the answer I got back was 'Ben, I don't waste anything'. Or it was something like that.

So when I thought about that I realized I was waiting on God. And boom. It popped in my head. We all know that Brenton Brown Song, 'Everlasting God'. It was made popular by Tomlin, and then made awesome by Lincoln Brewster.

I used to sing that song all the time, it was one of those songs that was huge for a while then kind of disappeared. But I still have fond memories of belting it out in youth group. Anyway, the verse 'strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord', is powerful. And it's true. God really doesn't waste anything. I can trust that even my time working this other job will be used for His glory. And once again God has humbled me and corrected my attitude out of love!

There is no strength like the joy of the Lord! I can't wait for this time to strengthen me!

Ben

Isaiah 40:31:

but those who hope in the LORD
       will renew their strength.
       They will soar on wings like eagles;
       they will run and not grow weary,
       they will walk and not be faint.

More Bass In Your Face!

2009-07-30T12:46:00.002-04:00

I am really stoked how God has just been blessing the worship ministry here at CR. Just a few weeks ago we we're rolling acoustic style every week, and not that there's anything wrong with that, but the inner rocker of CR has been waiting to come out for a long time. God just keeps bringing the right people through our doors too - who knew that we had such a gifted drummer just waiting to play?

God is doing great things at CR, and I cant wait for even more gifted musicians to come through the door! I'm pretty excited about adding bass back to the mix now that Josh has joined the team. I was out this morning checking out bass amps for our church and I am glad to say that I practically blew up the store with the one we ended up getting. I've always been a fan of feeling bass more than hearing it. And trust me, if you're at the CR this sunday, you'll feel some bass in your face!

Keep lifting up the worship ministry at CR. I believe that God has great plans to have us grow as worshippers and experience amazing worship in spirit in truth! God is again and again proving his faithfulness to us as we continue on this great journey of building a church!

blessings,

Ben

Time To Refuel

2009-07-29T21:53:00.002-04:00

Alright. Major apologies, I haven't blogged in quite a while. Neither have I hit the gym or even touched my guitar. Pretty bad huh? Now I had a potentially forgivable excuse with my mom and girlfriend in town for a few days - but there's one thing that went undone that should not have. I haven't been in God's Word since sunday and It's beginning to show. I'm getting sloppy with the way I react to people and the things I think about. I'm once again reminded that my relationship with God is one where I have to actively participate. Life is pretty simple. Put God's Word in you so that it pours out of you onto other people instead of making a big mess when the you ends up pouring out of you. It's time to refuel.

Psalm 119:2 AMP

²Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are they who keep His testimonies, and who seek, inquire for and of Him and crave Him with the whole heart.

blessings,

Ben

The Too Often Overlooked Charlie Hall

2009-07-24T18:12:00.004-04:00

You'd be pretty hard pressed to walk into church on a sunday and not hear at least one Tomlin song. It's just a given. The dude just knows how to write good congregational music. However, the most overlooked of the quartet of Passion worship leaders, Charlie Hall, has always been by far my favorite. Also he has the most freaking amazing gotee in the world. I still remember how I heard 'Give Us Clean Hands' sung at a retreat I was at as a young Christian, and it moved my heart like it never has been again. Hall can pretty much write my heart into song. I only hope one day to have the same command of the english language as he does, and use it for God's glory in my own writing.

Scenes, By Charlie Hall

Chill and cold and flakes of snow
Ice and sleet, frost and cold
Each storm cloud and thunder bold
Lifts my mind to You

Every work and every power
Every second of every hour
Fall of dew and sweet rain showersLifts my mind to You

Summer wind, fire and heat
Autumn leaves and blooms of spring
Ocean waves and mountain streamsLifts my mind to You

I see You in every scene
I bet You are thinking about me
I have such a shot memorySo You'll keep reminding me of You

As I lay me down to sleepAs I walk on city streets
As I laugh with friends and feast
It lifts my mind to You

As my children play and run
In the news with wars and guns
In the church where songs are sung
It lifts my mind to You

Deep inside the beggar's eyesAs for sweet love I fight
On the radio at night
It lifts my mind to You

I see You in every scene
I bet You are thinking about me
I have such a short memory
So You'll keep reminding me of You
Painting pictures of your love
You lift my mind up
Reminding me of You
My heart comes alive

I see You in every sceneI bet You are thinking about me
I have such a short memory
So You'll keep reminding me of You

Now I Know Why They Call it Legendary

2009-07-23T17:38:00.003-04:00

I'm assimilating. And it's a bad habit. When I was in Australia, I was slowly trying to become Australian. And now that I'm in North Carolina, it's happening again. The culinary fare of the south has now put a spell on me...

Now I don't have the funds to eat out much at all. But I do know when that $1.06 in nickels and dimes slowly collects on my nightstand, I know where it's going. It's going to get me a beautiful Bojangles' Sweet Tea. Call this yankee a wannabe if you want, but I love sweet tea. I don't really know how I've missed it all my life. I think I will learn to make it, I love it that much. So here's to you Bojangles and your $1.06 sweet tea! You make me happy!

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 4

2009-07-22T14:25:00.004-04:00

Alright, check it out: final chapter in our discussion of worship basics. When Do We Worship? Answer: all the time. I should really have let yesterday's post combine the answer to both how and when, because in my scatterbrained fervor to write something before I went to work yesterday, I'm pretty sure that I covered both. So let me recap:

Worship is a continual act. It is this beautiful constant stream of revelation and response. (see post 1). However as I mentioned yesterday, to make a true lifestyle of worship, it requires an active approach. God wants to reveal more and more of His character to us, but He wants us to desire it! See, when I started leading worship I thought the main keys to being a good worship leader were to constantly improve musically, and learn a ton of worship songs. But I soon found that leading worship has so little to do with music. That's just the medium of our praise, it's an amazing medium, but it's just a medium. What started to happen is that every time I got up to lead people, I'd reach into my worship leader 'bag 'o tricks' and would come up with less and less over time. As I learned over time, leading worship 'out of myself' had limits, while leading worship out of God did not. So I had to take an active approach as a worshipper in my prayer life, desiring to see more of God in His Word and in the world around me. If you want to make a continual lifestyle of worship - you can never worship on empty. Eventually a car has to stop and refuel to continue it's journey. The same goes for worshippers who desire to worship God all the time. The more we seek God, the more we'll find Him. If we are constantly praying for and desiring new revelation, all we can do is respond to Him!

I've come to realize that my part in the life of those I lead in worship is very small. In the case of the people who attend church relevant, my 20 minutes worshipping with them on sunday accounts for .1851851851851852% of their week. That's almost 1/200 of a percent of their week. So that

helps me recognize that the most important part of my job as worship leader is to encourage

people to worship for the remaining 99 199/200% of their week! And think about the

implications that has as worshippers! If I only am truly worshipping God when I'm at church

then I'm only offering back 20 minutes of my 10,800 that He gives to me to live every week!

Now surely we look at that and say that we offer God a lot more of our time, but I know if I

truly think about it, there's a lot of time when I'm not worshipping God outside of sunday

morning. This is not a guilt trip, and this is not legalism. It's not like we have to log our 'worship

hours' on some time sheet on the fridge every week. But when I think that Jesus died on the

cross so that we could have immediate access to God in worship, we really shouldn't be short-

changing God of something that's already His.

To me there are so many things that can be acts of worship. It goes way beyond songs. Take

praise for example. We don't have to be singing to declare things about God. It's not like God

doesn't know He's amazing and beautiful and all powerful, but He loves to hear it. Like seriously

if you commute 20 or more minutes to work every day, what do you do? I know that I would

probably listen to music and let my brain shut off every function except those related to driving

because the commute is so bored. I would challenge anyone to take 5 minutes of that commute

and use it to praise God since your brain isn't doing anything else. I remember once at a worship

event when i was a freshman in high school we just went through the alphabet and shouted out

praises for God. For example: A= Awesome B= Beautiful C= Compassionate, etc. It sounds really

basic, but I promise if you make that kind of worship an exercise and a discipline for yourself

that when God does something truly very cool, your immediate response will be praise. Got

issues with humility? I know I do! I take God's credit a lot. When I make a practice of offering

Him praise, telling Him 'God You are....', then I'm much less likely to take the credit for

something God.

Seek out opportunities to lift up God. When was the last time you actually checked out the night

sky? I mean seriously, not just a brief look up between the garage and the house, but a long

look where you scan all the patterns of the stars and realize that God set each one in it's place.

Creation is constantly praising God, all you have to do is join in.

Hebrews says God's Word is living and active for a reason. When you crack the Word on a

regular basis, I guarantee you will find application to your life all the time, and when you find it

you will be glad to lift up God for such encouragement!

A lot of people feel like clumsy worshippers. They're afraid to pray out loud because they dont

feel eloquent like the pastor, and they're afraid to be judged. You have to learn to praise God

on your own before you can ever feel comfortable talking to Him in the presence of others! Let

God's word speak for you! The next time you read the Psalms, don't just read them, pray them

out loud and with passion. The whole point of spending 'quiet time' with God is to get away from

people, so find a place where you can even feel comfortable shouting and crying out to God. If

you find your words aren't 'good enough' then grab the Psalms and pray them to God. The Psalms

are full of all kinds of prayers, from cries for help, to proclamations of victory. A lot of Worship

Leaders kind of King David as the original worship leader. He sort of set the whole thing in

motion for how we worship as a church today. There's a lot anyone can learn from David's words

about being a worshipper.

And just because sunday morning is such a small part of our week doesn't mean we should

discount the awesome opportunity it is! There's something really beautiful that happens when

God's people come together to worship as a congregation. Use that time to continue to pour out

praises on God together!

We want to worship God extravagantly - we should all try to follow Mary's example in John 12.

It's a great read for worshipful inspiration!

Blessings,

Ben

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 3

2009-07-21T13:57:00.004-04:00

How Should We Worship?

You've probably heard it said before. Worship is a lifestyle. And that's very true. And it's very hard! Sometimes I contemplate what a worshipful lifestyle looks like. What it would look like if I brought worship into every part of my live. I'm always amazed that I can forget God. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You go whole days without saying one word to God, or turning one thought on Him. Usually at the end of the day when I've found I've walked through my whole day like that, I'm amazed to remember that there hasn't been a moment when God has stopped thinking about me and talking to me, but I was too busy to hear Him.

I think Paul was thinking of this when he wrote to the church in Thessalonica:

1 Thess. 5:16-18

⁶Be joyful always; ¹⁷pray continually; ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Those verse lend themselves to the fact that worship is a discipline. How can you give thanks to God in all circumstances? Sometimes it seems like nothing is working out and that the roof is caving in. I'm so amazed how I let small things that stress me out like being tired or having a fight with someone close get in the way of my worship. I think too often we think that God has just abandoned us to our circumstances. We get angry, and we cry out "where have you gone God!?", when in fact he hasn't gone anywhere. God is ever present, even in the 11th hour.

How do we worship? I think at the most basic level of worship we remind ourselves that God is just there. Wherever we are, He is there with us. See, a lifestyle of worship means that you must desire revelation of God so that you can respond.

In James 4:8a it says: ⁸Come near to God and he will come near to you.

Worship is active, It doesn't just happen. You don't randomly find yourself on your knees with hands lifted. That wouldn't be worship. God never holds a gun to our heads and tells us to worship either, it is a free choice that we've been given. You choose to worship, or not to worship God. Jesus said, someone cannot love two masters - you will hate one and love the other. If we're not worshipping God then we're clearly worshipping something else. That's why worship is a discipline. Sometimes we worship our sin, we refuse to sacrifice it for the glory of God. There are even times when we just worship our comfort. Someone who has the crappiest saturday and shows up on sunday angry at God refusing to worship, isn't just abstaining from worship, they are worshipping their comfort.

Worship is truly something that comes out of us. We are created to worship God. Our God is everywhere, even in circumstances that seem evil. And God is glorified by all things, even when we don't choose to worship. And we may not like to think about it, but God will be glorified on that final day when all those who turned away from God are condemned forever to pain and suffering. But as Christians, we need to desire continual revelation from God to worship Him. We want to seek out ways to magnify God in our lives - to go way beyond what happens on sunday morning. Everything is spiritual. You can find God in everything. He is constantly revealing Himself to us, we just have to open our eyes to see Him. Its hard because when we look for God, we find in ourselves all the things that don't bring glory to God. That is why worship takes courage.

I think it's important to point out that as I write this, I'm struggling to make it my own act of worship.

Today, I'm not feeling remotely close to God, no am I feeling remotely worshipful. And that kind of thing

happens to me a lot more than when you think. God loves me, and I find He is constantly breaking me,

teaching me to worship him better, and sometimes I get in this tug of war with God where I know He's

asking me to give Him something that's keeping me from worshipping Him with my life. And today, it's

pretty much my comfort. I've complained a lot in the last two days, and now it's time to realize that God is

in everything that's happened, and He'll have His glory from all the circumstances (which are actually pretty

small compared to what other people I know are dealing with daily) whether I submit these things to Him

or not. So in an attempt to practice what I preach I'm going to decide to find God in these circumstances, and to attempt to respond joyfully.

When we come to a crossroads of choosing what to worship, the encouragement is that we always have the ability to choose to worship God. I'm so glad that God has given us His very Spirit, to convict and guide us.

Worship is a lifestyle.

blessings,

Ben

The Dead Weather

2009-07-20T12:53:00.000-04:00

Ok so i lied about using four consecutive posts to talk about worship basics. I promise I'll be right back to numbers 3 and 4 later this week, but today I'm just too drained to be profound. I know you know what I'm talking about. Today just didn't fall into place the way I wanted it too, I'm always humbled when my desire for what I expect God to do doesn't line up with what He actually does, then I again realize - "oh yeah, He is God. and I'm not"

so here's to that kind of day!

in the meantime I gotta share something... so check out my new favorite band (Jack White of the White Stripes' new project!): The Dead Weather

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 2

2009-07-17T15:21:00.003-04:00

Why Do We Worship?

Sunday school answer: Jesus.

Seriously, imagine you're zoning out in your High School sunday school class and your youth pastor is going on and on. You attended the early service so all that stands between you and freedom is 25 more minutes. Your mind turns to lunch. And soon all you can think about is lunch. Your youth pastor turns to you, and his mouth is moving.... but you cant hear anything because there's a giant deli sub floating around in your brain. Then you realized you've been asked a question. Answer: Jesus. Guaranteed to work every time. (May not work in Bible College).

So why do we worship? Because God demands it. Thats obvious. But I think a big part of figuring out that question is to ask why CAN we worship? God's been worshipped for thousands of years. But only recently, since Christ came into the picture, can we worship the way we do. All throughout the book of Hebrews, Christ is painted as a forerunner. A pioneer, a trailblazer. He is portrayed as the One who has gone ahead of us and made a way to the father. He has demonstrated perfect communion with God both on earth and now in eternity seated at the right hand of the Father.

Through the wonderful thing called sunday school, most of us are pretty aware of the basic layout of the ancient Jewish temple. There as an inner and outer court, a holy place, and a most holy place. Now throughout the year there were many rituals performed in the holy place by the priests, but it is written that God's actual prescience resided in the most holy place. And only the high priest could enter in once a year to perform the day of atonement offering and represent all the people before God. The high priest would have to be ceremonially clean before entering in because if he was not then he would be struck dead in the presence of the living God. God and sin cannot exist together. They are like oil and water, completely separate. Therefore, just in case the high priest forgot to cleanse himself completely before entering into the most holy place he would have bells attached to his garments and a rope put around his leg so that if he was struck dead, the people would know and could pull his body out.

The closest any person got to God's presence was through a single representative and only once a year.

However Christ made a way into that Holy Place that all can follow. Jesus is our new Great High Priest. He has not only gone into the most holy place, but He has torn the separating veil allowing many more to follow! This is why we can worship! This is why we do worship!

Hebrews chapter 4 says:

¹⁴Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. ¹⁵For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. ¹⁶Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

God not only demands our worship, He allows it. How amazing is it that we can approach God's very throne, any time, for any reason - and do it with confidence? There is no fear of being struck dead in God's presence because Jesus already took the punishment on our behalf. We have complete freedom in worshipping God, and that is why we worship, because no greater gift could be given, and we have a beautiful and wonderful opportunity to respond to it.

Now it's important to mention that worship can be a discipline. For everyone. Worship leaders included. When you come before the throne, whether on sunday morning at church or tuesday night by yourself during your quiet time, God deserves your worship. It doesn't matter how we feel about it. Worship is an act of surrender, it's an opportunity to glorify God for all He's done and to declare our dependency on Him. It has no bearing on how we feel. As a matter of fact - emotions, while involved in worship do not drive our worship. I'll talk about that more in How We Worship, but we all have to remember that worship may not come as easily one time as it does another. But yet we still do it and God will be glorified by your obedience.

Take advantage of the great gift our High Priest has offered, there are no other gifts like it.

Ben

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 1

2009-07-16T14:15:00.010-04:00

Do you ever read some bible scripture or hear a message taught that just messes you up so bad that you cant do anything but contemplate it over and over? That happened to me last night. Yesterday, I was chatting with our Lead Pastor Bryan at his office and he mentioned he just got blasted by a really good message on worship out of elevation church. So when your Pastor says that, you better check it out! So I downloaded it, threw it on the ipod, and took it to the gym for my workout.

The pastor at Elevation Church, Steven Furtick, is such an engaging speaker that I'm pretty sure I laughed a few times and threw out a few amens while I was lifting. The people around me at the gym probably thought I was crazy.

But anyway, it was what I call a 'back to basics' message. In worship leader school this is like worship 101. But I was reminded of something really important, it doesn't matter how complex your doctrine can get unless it stands on a strong foundational truth. For example there are those in the modern day church that would exclude the cross from their theology. While they may have some interesting things to say, everything they talk about will eventually crumble because they've removed that foundational building block on which our Christian faith stands.

The same goes with doctrine surrounding worship. If we don't understand the what, how, why or when of worship, everything we do can become an empty gesture. And even worship leaders, who's very livelihood is to constantly become a better worshipper, loose sight of our foundational truths.

So I want to spend the next four posts exploring exactly that. What is Worship, Why do We Worship, How Should We Worship and When Should We Worship? I'm finding blogging is a great way to not only communicate to friends and share my heart on my daily basis, but it's a way for me to keep sharp in my theology. And since this isn't a college term paper, it wont be perfect, but neither will it be the length of a book because I know some of you are just not that gracious.

What is Worship?

Worship is so beautifully complex. It's our only true interface with God. And what I mean by that is not that it's the only way to get from God, but it's the only encounter with God available to us where we not only receive from him, but offer something in return. Paul the Apostle says it this way in Rom. 12: ¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Worship is all in. If you think there's a halfway with worship you are very mistaken. God withheld absolutely nothing from us. His only Son died just so we could enter into His prescience. Now that's getting a bit more into the how, and today we're discussing the what.

The what of worship can be condensed into two processes. Revelation and Response. Paul is suggesting we offer our bodies (Response), in view of God's mercy (Revelation). Basically the sentence breaks down to 'do THIS because of THIS'. Now during my short stint in bible college I learned that you don't just write or preach on a passage that starts with the word therefore. Therefore implicates context, so to get the full grasp of what Paul is saying we must go back into chapter 11.

11:33-12:1:

³³Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
      How unsearchable his judgments,
      and his paths beyond tracing out!
³⁴"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
      Or who has been his counselor?"
³⁵"Who has ever given to God,
      that God should repay him?"
³⁶For from him and through him and to him are all things.
      To him be the glory forever! Amen.

¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

Now you would be hard-pressed to find such a beautiful revelation of God's nature than what Paul writes in Romans 11! "Who has given to God that God Should repay him?" It is in the very understanding and basic comprehension of God's transcendent nature that we should find within ourselves the worshipful response. God demands worship. All creation pours forth a response to God's glory. We were made to worship God. We find purpose in worshipping God.

So in simple terms what does that look like? On a sunday morning at CR we progress through a process called Praise and Worship, which basically outlines Revelation and Response. It Doesn't always work out in that exact order, but when we're praising God we're declaring things about God, and lifting Him up, when we're worshipping God, we're responding to those things we've declared about Him, worshipfully submitting ourselves to the King. Maybe that's an oversimplification, but all in all that's the process of worship as we do it every sunday. Then we sit in our chairs and receive from God's Word through Pastor Bryan as he helps us more clearly see God and what He wants from our lives by releasing the living, acting Word among us. After having heard the Word and having allowed it into our hearts to reveal God's nature, we get another opportunity to respond to such a beautiful revelation as we walk away from church and apply it in our lives, continually submitting to our King. This process of revelation and response never ends. We may stop responding to the revelation in disobedience to God, but He will always continue to reveal His glory to us, because God knows us so intimately and He equally desires us to intimately know Him too. Not even across all eternity will we ever have enough time to get a total revelation of God's glory. He's that majestic, and he demands that much worship. Here's the honest truth, if you want to grow in your capacity to worship God, all you have to do is develop an unrelenting hunger for His glory to be revealed to you. God wants to show us His glory, and Jesus even promised that whoever asked the Father for anything in his name would be given it in abundance. But be careful what you pray for because you may experience a whole new side of God! The Most Holy Place stands open because of Christ! May our attitudes be that of the Psalmist in Psalm 122:

I rejoiced with those who said to me,
"Let us go to the house of the LORD."

Ben

Showin' Some Love

2009-07-15T14:11:00.005-04:00

I figured after the last few posts it was time to lighten up for a bit! All my friends from CR know I hail from the great state of Illinois. All my growth in the last few years as a Christian and as a worship leader has occurred in an amazing environment where I've been surrounded by great men and women of God who passionately encouraged me to pursue a true relationship with Christ, and to pursue true worship as a person of ministry. I want all those at CR that I'm blessed to minister to every week to realize how good God is in preparing us for our callings! I wouldn't be who I am without these people who have challenged me and loved on me over the years, and even eventually humbled themselves to let me lead them as we do ministry. It's so cool.

I have a huge heart for seeing churches connect in worship. Not just singly by themselves, but as one whole 'C'hurch that can worship God together aside from their differences. In July 2008, my good buddy Nate Miller and myself launched a vision to see that very thing happen, and now I'm proud to say that in two weekends the third semi-annual RESONATE worship event will be taking place in the the Sycamore/DeKalb area of IL. I'm stoked to see something grow from a tiny seed and become a great tree that is a rock in the churches of our community. And I'm totally stoked that I wont be there for the first time to lead worship with our amazing team because God has led me here to CR. But I definitely want to show some love to my good friends back home as they prepare for such a big ministry event. I hope as a membes of the global 'C'hurch, we too could catch fire to see God's people unite to worship Him in Spirit and Truth.

Below is a promotional video for Elevate, the monthly, simpler, version of Resonate (basically less production and more focus on praying together). Check it out, and I hope you remember to lift up our brothers and sisters up north as a bunch of churches get ready to defy the stereotypical picture of fragmented, squabbling, denominations that is the church, and show their community that the body of Christ is unified!

To God be the glory!

Ben

Be The Church

2009-07-14T15:48:00.005-04:00

I absolutely mean this. Nothing makes me angrier then when the church lives up to it's stereotype. Nothing. I was going to write something different today, but now I'm mad and I wanna get you mad too.

So I had a really encouraging afternoon connecting with a friend from up north who's known me since I've been a young Christian. I walked away super encouraged to have spent time with Dave, it was awesome. But then, I had to go to Domino's to pick up some paperwork later in the afternoon and I got to talking with my soon to be boss about churches (obviously I was going to invite her to mine). She told me how she's not currently attending one, but would like to go back. Boom. That's it. I am finally able to find harmony between my two jobs delivering pizza and leading worship. Then she told me about a local church that she used to attend, but because she had two kids and dad was out of the picture someone called her a slut in conversation.

I'm not gonna censor that word because it's a disgusting word. I want you to see how disgusting it made the person feel. Seriously. Does that person know (who was apparently a long time attender of the church) how much they just discredited Jesus' bride?!

Now I'm angry. Why do I hear about this all the time? Why do so many people who know Jesus start thinking of the rest of the world as some dirty used condom on the sidewalk that they're above picking up with a stick and putting in the trash? It's a gross metaphor, but I remember when I was outside with my spanish class as a junior in high school, and there was actually that very thing laying on the sidewalk, and the repulsion on the faces of my friends was visible (and with good reason). How come I've seen that very same facial expression on the faces of someone in church who's just seen a very tattooed up man walk in? The same 'why is that disgusting thing here' facial expression I saw on that day in high school.

What a frustrating story to hear from my boss. I would like to congratulate whoever called her that for permanently wrecking her on church. Thank you, Christian lady, for making Jesus look like a complete jerk.

The Pharisees are repulsive to read about in the bible. Jesus called them 'white washed tombs'. Nice and put together on the outside, dirty and really nasty on the inside. All you have to do when you look at the disciple is realize that Jesus was not building a church of hypocrites. Jesus was building a church of sinners - real people - who could minister to real people. I love the story of Zaccheus the tax collector in Luke 19. When Jesus enters his house to be his dinner guest Zaccheus offers to give his things to the poor. "⁹Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. ¹⁰For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

Don't drive off the lost because they don't fit in 'church'. A church without lost people is dead or dying. And rightfully so. It's not the healthy who need the doctor. It's the sick.

Trying very hard to be the Church with you,

Ben

Everything Is Spiritual

2009-07-13T12:20:00.003-04:00

Everything is spiritual.

I believe that's true. And it has an interesting effect on everything I do. I think for too long I've allowed God to be packed up in conveniently labeled boxes on this shelf is my life. There's things I don't like to get any God in - it just gets messy. That's even the nature of how we justify sin. We determine that since it has no spiritual consequence it must be ok. Small example: food. I like to eat. It's pretty easy to tell when you meet me. Sometimes I move beyond enjoying food and become a glutton, which is sinful. I had to recently remind myself as I consumed 3/4ths of a frozen pizza one day that 1 Cor. 10:31 says: ³¹So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. I'm not sure I brought God a lot of glory in my lack of self control. Now that's a small example, but that's the very point I'm making. Lots of Christians are aware of 'big sins' (see 10 commandments) - and there are also a lot who are aware how Jesus redefined those 10 commandments for murder to include hate, and adultery to include lust. We're aware of that. But what I've been considering lately is how EVERYTHING being spiritual effects EVERYTHING I do.

I'm very opposed to legalism. I think any kind of legalism that we allow into our faith discredits the death of Christ on the Cross. Kind of like "here, Jesus! don't bother dying for me, I can get this one!". That's wrong. No work will ever get us to heaven. But, as in many things there's a second side to that coin.

Earlier in that 1 Cor. passage I quoted Paul says: ²³"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. There is no doubt that Jesus has rescued us by grace through our faith. If we are truly saved, no amount of sin will ever separate us from God's grace because Christ died and paid the price demanded by our just God for those sins. As I've grown as a Christian, I've begun to ponder how everything being spiritual affects my life. My interaction with God is one of spiritual nature because God is Spirit. Therefore God is not able to be removed from any of my doings, and neither is my spirit. So I'm posing a difficult question. Why have I chosen to continue doing simple things I do that are clearly not beneficial or constructive?

I've actually got my list right here: Illegally downloading music, slothfulness, gossip, listening to music with profane content, watching movies with profane content, lack of self control, lust after things and people, unrighteous anger, overeating.

And trust me that's the censored version. Now, these things are not sending me to Hell, not because they're not on the 'big sin list' but because I'm covered in grace. However, I continue to live with these things, no matter how minor I can consider them. Maybe it's time to kick some habits. Maybe it's time to further embrace the process of sanctification. I'm not at all exalting myself - look at my above list - those are daily things I allow into my life. But I wonder how the world reacts to Christians who are clearly dragging their spiritual lives through the same muck daily that they were in before they were saved. How can I personally preach self control to someone and stand here a solid 70 pounds overweight?

Let's be real...

No one. Not anyone - no matter how you spin it can justify piracy of media content that someone else created. There's no doubt about that. Yet many Christians do it, including myself. Our faith doesn't have loopholes. Yet we still try to make them for ourselves. Try explaining that to an unsaved person.

In all honesty, I'm not quite sure what to do with 'everything is spiritual'. But it sure has bearing on my life. I'd love to rant and rave for a few paragraphs about how I abhor legalism in the church and how I find it disgusting, and limiting to the growth of the church. But I think that would just be me trying justify my actions in some way. God is all powerful. We don't get a vote. When God said stealing is sinning. He meant it. It doesn't matter if it comes from the internet or from the store. Jesus said, "if you love me, obey my commands". The facts are in. No matter how small of the infraction, we don't show Jesus much love when we break His commandments.

Man, I am wrestling with this.

Blessings,

Ben

Be Carful What You Pray For

2009-07-10T17:19:00.003-04:00

You just might get it. Literally.

I try to pray for humility all the time. Opportunities to be humble, opportunities to see humility demonstrated in people I respect, and an overall growth in humility. I recognize that pride is my enemy that stands in the way of being a successful worship leader or even a decent man of God.

Well let me tell you, yesterday, Jesus served up some serious humble pie.

I had so many things to do yesterday it wasn't even funny. So I woke up feeling ready to be productive. After all it as laundry day, so if I didn't balance my stuff right I'd be re-wearing smelly clothes. Usually I have my quiet time in the mornings after some breakfast, but not yesterday, because I had to get to FedEx to get some stuff. That was my first big mistake. I got in my car. And I turned the key and got greeted with the most horrible, un-car-like noise that I have ever heard. So I just sat there because denial is the first step. And I turned the key again. Same noise. So after lots of manual searching and multiple oil checks, and an attempted jump from Pastor Bryan's car. I determined that this was going to be a long day. And I had that sinking feeling you get when you drop something valuable down the sink in the bathroom. I knew my day was gone down the tubes. So the story pretty much ends with me getting towed to Trent Cadillac, and sitting there for 4 and 1/2 hours watching Animal Planet. Seriously? Why Animal Planet? I like animals, but the programming is terrible. It wasn't boring to the point it put me to sleep (probably because the only other entertainment options were an old copy of Ebony and Women's Health - I had no place reading either), and it was barely interesting enough to stimulate my brain. I wouldn't say I was in a grumbling manner. But I wasn't happy. Earlier I feverishly prayed in my apartment that it was nothing. Then I prayed that it was just the battery. Then I sat in the waiting room and prayed - pretty much every five minutes that my car would get fixed or someone would change the channel. There's probably a whole different blog post about how I was too busy to show up to commune with God at the usual time until I needed something. But It became clear to me during the 2nd episode of Meerkat Manor that God was not going to just make this simple. I had something to learn.

The words of Jesus in my quiet time this morning:

John 15:1-2

¹"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ²He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

Humble pie to the face. Again. I'm glad God loves me enough to prune me up every now and then.

Thank you Jesus for such tasty pie. Next time no Animal Planet though please.

Blessings,

Ben

Truth Pills...

2009-07-08T12:30:00.006-04:00

...are hard to swallow. But our God is true. I love how in Numbers 23:19 it says: God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? With our God there is only truth, and lie - the later not being a part of His character. We can firmly stand on everything God has ever said to us, because He is a God who speaks, and acts. Why is it then that it seems that churches are compromising the truth in God's Word to make it easier for people to swallow?

A lot of people seem to think that culture and church are at war with one another. That the only way to properly preserve God's truth is to remove it completely from culture so that it will not be tainted by outside influences. And on the flipside, the only way to make the church attractive to 'culture' is to remove from God's truth the parts that are hard to swallow - making it a more appealing package in the age of custom designer clothes, meals, workout programs and even entertainment.

When it comes to church as a whole I have very strong convictions about the above approaches. They're wrong. Culture and church exist in a very fragile balance, but that doesn't mean that finding that balance is complex. I think the solution is very simple - but It's hard to swallow. It goes like this: you don't touch the Word. Period. It doesn't ever get altered. No matter what. No matter how hard it is to bring people into your church when you tell them Jesus had to die a bloody death for them to be saved - that being a good person has nothing at all to do with it, you don't touch the Word. But in addition to that, everything that is not the Word, needs to be getting changed all the time for the sake of the lost. That includes the quality of the coffee, the way visitors are treated, and even the overall atmosphere. I hate churchy church. And I really do mean hate. I hated it when I wasn't walking with the Lord and I hate it now that I am walking with the Lord. When did tradition become so important that it was sustained at the cost of loosing opportunities to tell people about Jesus? People who hit rock bottom and decide to see if there's an answer at church don't need tradition. It doesn't matter to them how we do things to our pleasing. They need to be able to walk into a place, that welcomes them like Christ welcomes us, and a place that loves them enough to present the Gospel as God constructed it. If the church wants to scare off the lost then it should continue to cling to distracting irrelevant traditions that have no bearing on our culture. I love the King James Bible. I think it's pretty cool that it was the first english translation. But no one talks like that anymore. Why would someone who just came off from the street and has never really been told about Jesus in their life ever want to come back to the weird church that talks like 17th century England? And also why would someone who comes in off the street, never having been told the gospel want to walk into a house of hypocrites who teach one thing, but act another for the sake of "cultural relevance?" Only God knows the content of hearts, but I honestly thing that "cultural relevance" gets used as an excuse to live like we did before we knew Jesus, while still being covered under Hell insurance - all supposedly for the sake of 'reaching out'. Paul, the Apostle is pretty clear about this in Romans 6: ¹What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ²By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

I think as Christians we often forget that people are intelligent. Just because they're lost doesn't mean that they don't perceive things like everyone else. When they walk in to our church and they see us making an effort to be relatable and relevant, but also desiring to stay true to our biblical convictions, they appreciate it.

I absolutely love Church Relevant for this very reason. Like seriously we meet in a conference room not a cathedral. What matters is that we're having church, not in one. From the very first day I was here it was clear that I was among a people that were intent on helping people find their way to Jesus, and that means maintaing the truth Jesus brought into our lives.

We serve coffee from a martini bar. And the Word gets served from the pulpit. No artificial sweetener added.

I pray that as a church we continue to operate in this manner, the manner that God intended. I truly believe that as long as Church Relevant is committed to be sold out for reaching people with God's complete Word, we'll be bringing Glory and Renown to His name.

Isaiah 26:8

Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,
       we wait for you;
       your name and renown
       are the desire of our hearts

Blessings,

Ben

The Album is Not Dead Yet!

2009-07-07T16:03:00.004-04:00

The album is a beautiful thing. But supposedly with the advent of itunes it's begun it's slow painful death. That very well may be true, but I know there are people out there such as myself who still appreciate the concept of the album. Sometimes I wonder how much time producers spend painfully considering the order of the songs in an album. You cant just throw them in any order. These are 12 songs that belong together, they came from the same source (artist) or similar sources (artists) and they all relate to one another directly and indirectly. The producer has to consider musical relation between songs such as tempo and key, thematic relation such as mood or lyric, and also the overall relation of progress between the songs. A well produced album is like a journey - you actually start at point A and end up at point B. There's a beautiful. gradual progression, and at least for me it keeps me listening to the album because the more I listen, the more I find those nuances that cause the music to remain fresh and relevant as a piece of art.

So today, in tribute to the album, I'm going to list 5 albums that I'm currently listening to that absolutely should be listened to as an album. These are albums that get from point A to B.

1) As Tall As Lions; As Tall As Lions

This particular album may be one of the best examples of all when you talk about progressing from point A to B. I like it because some albums usually progress through tempo fast to slow. It's clear that when this album was produced, tempo was pretty much disrgarded in song order. There's an ebb and flow to the musical progression, and since emotional dynamic defines this band, the album is constantly transitioning between elated and melancholic tones. It's beautiful.

2) The Bright Sadness; Charlie Hall

This is currently my absolute favorite worship album of all time. Like ever. I think Charlie Hall gets overlooked a lot as the 4th worship leader on the SixSteps label, but he is becoming my favorite. Charlie and his band are not afraid to step outside what is popular in Christian music right now and draw more alternative, electronic and ambient musical motifs. To me those three ingredients are an instant recipe for my personal worship time even if I'm listening to secular music. I always think of this album as a whole. Every time I get it out I end up listening to it beginning to end. I watched an interview with Charlie before the album came out and he talked about making an album that had a touch more of humanity in it, and how that related to worship. It puts a reality on things when I listen to it, and it causes me to ponder the place of worship in a fallen world. That motif ties the entire thing together, less like a fine thread and more like links in a chain.

3) Everything All the Time; Band of Horses

I love the cross-genre aspects of this album. For some reason or another since I've moved to NC I like to turn on NPR at night when they have their music programs, and they have one that is basically what I call progressive americana. It's pretty much bluegrass on roids. And I like it. As a matter of fact I'm starting to like true bluegrass music too. I don't really know why, but it's growing on me. This album does such an amazing job of changing shape throughout, that you don't really realize how much it's changed until you get to the last song and your cd player loops it back to the beginning. Stuff is coming in from all over the map on this one, folk, alt. rock, surf rock, a touch of math rock, and even the first song reminds me of jazz in a way - there's no fear of using more than power chords here.

4. Only By the Night; Kings of Leon

So usually I'm not that guy that makes a big deal of listening to music that other people haven't heard of. I think that's pretty lame actually. But I have to admit that when Kings started getting ridiculous airplay with their second single, Use Somebody, I got a little sad, because I had spent the last 6 months listening to this album nonstop in my car - and I did everything I could to tell everyone I knew about it. This is truly a perfect album. To me this is the Joshua Tree of the 21st century. I can't even explain how perfect it is. So don't be lame and buy Use Somebody off itunes, but please get the whole thing and listen it through over and over because I'm still getting fresh stuff from it.

5) The Midnight Organ Fight; Frightened Rabbit

This album is so raw, it sometimes hurts to listen to. Frightened Rabbit is really one of my newest favorite bands - it consists of two Scottish brothers (one on drums, the other on guitar and vocals), and they just have pure energy. The lyrics are like poetry. Pretty profane poetry, but poetry nonetheless. I'm not kidding, it feels like we get to go deeper and deeper into Scott Hutchison's mind as the album goes on. The only band I knew before Frightened Rabbit that had such piercing true lyrics was Death Cab for Cutie, and in all honesty Frightened Rabbit does a number on them. You'll listen to this album the whole way through, because you wont want to stop. The progression is beautiful and powerful - much like a picture is being painted in your mind - and the progression of the album of itself seems to stand alone as it's own idea outside of the songs - like the big picture. I know that Frightened Rabbit appreciates the album.

Legit

2009-07-06T15:28:00.000-04:00

The Epistle to the Hebrews. The pages are a bit more worn in Hebrews than anywhere else in my Bible. For some reason it feels like it was written for me. Now I know God's Word is meant to be read as a whole and I love every sentence, but - Hebrews just messes me up a little more than any other book. I just don't understand how so much stuff that I find relevant to my own life and desires can be packed into one book. I think Hebrews is one of those books where the fine thread that ties New and Old Testament together is just a little bolder. I'm a big picture kind of guy - call it artistic if you want - but for me the book of Hebrews basically explains the entire story arc from Adam to Christ. It gives me chills just thinking about it... Hebrews is beautiful at comparison, beautiful and causing us to realize how much God adapted the fallen plan out of His deep, sincere love to bring us closer to him. I only did a short stint at bible college, but in my class on the book we kept talking about the greek term: syncrisis. Syncrisis is a comparison of opposites, specifically used in Hebrews not to make the lesser thing look bad, but to make the greater thing look better. Let me give an example: in chapter 3 - the author discusses the difference between Moses and Jesus. Now Moses is a pretty big deal to any son of Abraham, so when the author writes he says that Moses was a faithful servant in all of God's house, while Christ was a faithful Son over Gods house, these aren't light words to his readers. He's not bashing Moses at all - very few of us could ever come close to accomplishing the same service that Moses was called on to do in God's house - but the author is lifting up Christ. Kind of like "well you think Moses was pretty great? Christ was even greater. Try to imagine that". That's what's cool about Hebrews, it gives our faith context.

But sadly I'm not here to ramble on about Synkrisis. That would be nerdy.

Seasons are heavy on my heart today. God seems to operate in seasons - as a matter of fact His creation seems to be designed around seasons (something I'm experiencing first hand in the south with no A/C in my car). Check out Psalm 23, you can see a transition between seasons. There's the green pastures, the valley of the shadow of death, and everything else in between. Christ is the shepherd and we are the sheep. When we arrive at green pastures, it is because He has led us there, and also when we walk through the valley it's because we've been led there by Him. I think everyone (including myself) falls into the trap of thinking that when it's valley time, when things get really tough, that Jesus has abandoned us and this is the work of some outside force - maybe Satan, maybe just bad decisions. While Satan or bad decisions may be catalysts in a tough season - that doesn't mean God isn't involved. As a matter of fact, In John 9, Jesus heals a man who was blind from birth. When he does that He is asked by his disciples if it was the man or his parents who sinned to cause him to be blind. Jesus brings the shocker and says that it was actually neither, that this man was made blind so that the work of God could have been displayed in his life. Bam. I honestly would have felt pretty stupid if I was the disciple who asked that question. But we all get into the pitfall of taking God's glory and purpose out of the tough situation.

Hebrews 12 takes it a step further. *Warning* prepare to be messed up by scripture Holy Ghost style.

⁷Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? ⁸If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. ⁹Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! ¹⁰Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

The next time I start moaning about how tough things are, somebody better smack me around and remind me that it's a good thing I'm not an illegitimate child of God. Check it out: if you have ever walked through the valley or are currently walking through the valley, that means you're legit. You're in. You're the real deal. Our heavenly father loves us enough to lead us through all the thistles and briars of the valley so that we can 'share in His holiness.' If you're in that place where God seems far away, and everything is falling apart and you're wondering if God even knows you exist - it's time to rethink that.

Now to be fair - I'm really in a green pastures type time. Things are looking up for me - so it's much easier to write this encouragement. But I've been through the valley enough to start to recognize this truth. And I recognize that it's a hard pill to swallow.

It's amazing that the God who loves us with the most pure love possible - actually loves us enough to let us hurt to be reminded of our status as His legitimate children. It's pretty hard for me to watch someone I care about cry. It must be near unbearable for God to see His child walking through the valley in pain. I bet that God hurts too when that happens, and it probably hurts more than anything we could comprehend. All this done out of love for us. So that we may be able to reap a harvest of righteousness as a result of enduring hardship. All of this from the God who loves us.

I'll let the good Rev. MC Hammer wrap things up...

Blessings,

Ben

This Organic Worship

2009-07-05T20:21:00.000-04:00

So I've finally made my foray into the world of blogging. Apparently I'm a little late. I've spent the last two years following different ministry blogs, and being blessed by the content for my ministry but I've never written my own. It seems like every person on staff at a church (and their mom) have a blog. If you just google 'pastor+blog', google returns with 17,500,000 results. So here I am, I'm super cool now because I'm up on the trend.

Let's talk about the title... At first I had what I thought was a really COOL title, and it was totally deep and meaningful and metaphorical for worship, but my girlfriend kindly informed me it didn't make any sense. And I guess they were right because as hip as it was, it was pretty ambiguous and i didn't want to have to explain it all the time, especially since I don't have a cult following size level of readers. Because if that were the case it could be our secret, and we would be cooler than everyone else. Ok not really.

So the real title is simple. Organic is defined as 'of, relating to, or derived from living matter'. If my blog was titled 'This Synthetic Worship', my position here at Church Relevant would probably be reconsidered. Worship is who we are. It comes from our very beings as Christians. God created us to worship. In 1647 the Westminster Assembly, who had been appointed to restructure the Church of England, had finished producing one of the documents they were working on that outlined the major confessional standards of the Presbyterian faith - this document was called the Larger Catechism (it's companion is called the Shorter Catechism). The larger Catechism is a series of 97 statements of faith in question and answer form. It's a good read - just google it. It starts like this:

Question 1: What is the chief and highest end of man?

Answer: Man's chief and highest end is to glorify God and fully to enjoy him forever.

Ben's paraphrase- Q: Why am I here? A: I'm here to worship God and be content in who he is for all time.

The Bible is really good at debunking questions that people have been asking for centuries. God's Word gives us purpose which, at the most elementary level, is to glorify Him. Worship defines our very existence - it is everything we are - as a matter of fact we are HERE to worship God.

In John chapter 4 Jesus comes across a Samaritan woman at the well. This is such a popular sermon text that I'll spare you the details, but I'm always amazed by the part of the discussion right between where the woman has figured out that Jesus may be a prophet, but is about to learn that He is the Christ. He says: ^23"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. ²⁴God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

God did not construct us solely of dirt, muscle, sinew and bone - but he made us also out of spirit. Yes, all of our mechanical functions have to be performed in the physical, but there is a part of us that is unseen by the eye, but observed by God. He doesn't desire manufactured worship! He desires worship that comes from our very spirit! Worship is beautiful because it is our true interface with God - it is the only why we can give back to God along with take (usually we just take).

Jesus is calling for worshippers to organically create their worship. Our worship was not meant to be grown in a metaphorical lab - carefully watched and treated until it is a perfect product ready to go on display. That just doesn't translate with God. God wants our worship to be organic - grown from our lives and rooted in our spirit - it may not be the flawless manufactured version, but it will be much more wholesome. Anyone who has had a vegetable from the garden knows what I'm talking about. If it's a tomato for example, it's just generally better than what comes off the shelf! The garden tomato has a bolder taste, it's texture is like that of an ideal tomato, while the one from the store may be beautifully red, but it doesn't taste real, and when you bite into it, it seems that it was picked too early even though it appears ripe on the outside. Just as God is spirit, His worshippers must worship in spirit and truth. Organic. Whole. True. Worship.

Now I want a garden fresh tomato!

Blessings,

Ben

This Organic Worship

Faith from Jesus

Jesus Wants to Redeem Christian-eese

The Death that Brought Life

The Power in Pursuit

Glory-Numb

Dying to Live

Brokenness.

Sadistic gods and Holy White Out

Sunday Is Coming

John 4:1-26

It Is Well

Squeezed

The Deal With Humility

Galatians 6:14

Furiously Loved

W(ord). I(n). W(orship). O(ut). A life of overflow.

Faith Will Really Mess You Up

Cultivation Situation

Redeeming Our First Love Again and Again

Claiming the promise of God's faithfulness

If you have a ton of money and talent...

Even Our Bass Drum Loves Church Relevant

God Is Moving Through The Church!

Unity is Key

We're Special!

New Song: God Is On The Move

I Should Have Been Born In the South....

That's Gotta Collect Some Serious Interest...

Strength Rising

More Bass In Your Face!

Time To Refuel

The Too Often Overlooked Charlie Hall

Now I Know Why They Call it Legendary

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 4

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 3

The Dead Weather

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 2

This Organic Worship: Back to Basics 1

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

I rejoiced with those who said to me, "Let us go to the house of the LORD."

Ben

Showin' Some Love

Be The Church

Everything Is Spiritual

Be Carful What You Pray For

Truth Pills...

The Album is Not Dead Yet!

Legit

This Organic Worship

¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

I rejoiced with those who said to me,
"Let us go to the house of the LORD."